Cooking Madness

Did my last post sound frantic?

After I posted last, a dear friend called and told me that she was coming over. I must have scared her with my rantings. Imagine that.

Since plans had changed for her, she was free to spend the day cooking. Those were the big plans on our agenda once my mom arrived. I waded through school then the doorbell rang and mayhem descended in the form of three more kiddos and their take-charge Momma. It was a very productive morning. We put together 2 dishes of stuffed shells, a lasagne, 2 black bean casseroles, 6 loaves of french bread and a pot of vegetable soup. Then the phone rang and my mom, ever-determined to help, was on her way. By the evening we had added a mexican casserole, a pot of chili, and a gazillion waffles to fill my freezer with enough meals to keep my family fed for at least 2 weeks after we get home from Ethiopia. I honestly thought it was going to take two days to make all of the meals I had listed to freeze. Since we got done on Wednesday, that left Thursday to start on another project...gifts for the nannies at the transition home.


I have gone back and forth procrastinating about what to bring these ladies. Finally, we had to just make a decision--so we are making colorful aprons. We are still trying to figure out what to give the rest of the folks who work with our kids. Men probably aren't interested in lotions or aprons, right? If you have any wonderful ideas, please leave me a comment, I'm open to suggestions!

Who are these kids?

Seth is out of town. That alone should strike terror into my heart (and the heart of my kids). It's not that I can't function without him, but after a day of schooling and momming, I need a respite in the form of a chipper, whitty helpmate. He's my knight in business casual. On good days (most of them are) I'm surprised when I hear the garage door open. Other times I'm checking the clock wondering why in the world my relief chose TODAY to stop and get gas.

Yesterday was one of those days.

Unfortunately, there was no relief coming. I had to bear the brunt of my children's anarchy alone. I made them take naps. I made let them watch a movie. I pulled out crayons, pencils, and journals and let them draw for hours on end. Nothing helped. Yesterday, the rascals surrounding me were not my children. They were loud, obnoxious, rude hellions. I found myself staring at the three of them as they laughed maniacally at some rudeness that had erupted from one of their bodies. I wondered if 5:30 was too early for bed. I decided I should probably feed them dinner first. Perhaps full bellies would calm them. Alas, after dinner I finally admitted defeat and sent them to bed early.

My only hope was arriving today. My Mom. Dear, sweet Mom is coming to my rescue.

She thinks she's coming for the rest of the week to prepare for the upcoming arrival of our newest anarchists kids. I want her to come so she could save me from insanity. My kids will be enthralled with my mother and give me a break. They will become the children that I know and love. I hope so. This morning I squeaked when I woke up. It has snowed all night long. Schools are cancelled, roads are icy. This means no Mom. This means I may be alone again today. I hope that the little creatures who arise in a few minutes are my children and not the wild monsters that were visiting yesterday.

I may go on strike.

News from afar

Today I got a surprise email from Erica, a mom in Ethiopia. She sent me PICTURES of my kids!! I was thrilled! Two pictures of each kiddo. Our son already looks so different from the only picture we have. His cheeks are so squeezy...I can't wait to see him. Our daughter is smiling a gorgeous smile.

I pulled the three kids to the computer so they could see our gems. Everett's first reaction to his sister's photos?

"She looks like a boy in this picture." This sounds awful, he wasn't upset or nasty, just commenting.

I covered her recently shaved trimmed hair, allowing only her face to show. Then he replied, "Well, she's going to have to wear a bow or something. Maybe if she wasn't wearing that blue t-shirt..."

Picky, picky. This from the kid who idolizes pirate/colonial/grunge garb and teases his hair.

Our baby boy's pictures got an "awwww" from all parties present. But, oh, they are both so cute. I can't wait to share pictures of them with all of you!

Shortly after that wonderful surprise, Mel posted these tidbits...
Your little girl is just adorable and loves loves loves to have her picture taken!! She will smile ear to ear for you to take her picture and then say "Look, Look" so you will show her the picture!! Adorable!! Your son just never stops smiling and is the cutest little guy with the best belly laugh!!! He is so very happy!!

The families over there have been in our shoes and I am SO thankful that they understand how much the news and the pictures mean. Thank you Erica and Mel!

Updates...

On Wednesday I got an update from the transition home. Rachel, an America World employee, moved to Ethiopia in January to work from the transition home. I was so excited to read what she had to write about our kids. Our daughter is battling a persistent, nasty ear infection. It's a bizarre feeling to read about the children we've prayed for, but don't know. To read ABOUT them and read that one of them is under the weather. If she were here, we'd probably be able to help her recover quickly under the watchful eye of a good pediatrician. So I read the emails from Rachel regarding our daughter's health and feel quite helpless. I'm going to make a few calls today to get an opinion from my dear uncle (family bias dictates that we all hold him to be the BEST physician in the world).

Back to the update...according to Rachel our daughter is quite a sweet girl and loves to get attention from Rachel. Our son is always smiling and happy. Do they say this about all the babies? I wonder...if your child was a grump, would they tell you? Her kind words about our kids is a balm to my soul. Also, was the picture of the older children that she sent. In our referral picture our daughter looks much older than the 4 years that she is said to be. In the picture with other kids, she looks so small! Rachel said she will write updates every other Friday for the waiting parents. So, next Friday I can expect another. Until then, I'm going to be CLOSELY watching the families who are travelling to pick up their kids this week. You can follow along and perhaps, catch a glimpse of our two adorable kids! Here are the links for families with blogs (though there are two others traveling also): the Harpold's, the Treadwell's, the Wegner's and the McIlrath's.

Our Day in Pictures

I'm still a wee bit frazzled after last week. I probably shouldn't be allowed to post anything on a public forum, because it will come out as gobbledy-gook. We had an eventful day yesterday, so I'm going to update with pictures...



Our official documents came bright and early. Here's a shot of me (care of budding photographer, Everett) holding the AWAA referral package. We signed the acceptance and wrote out a large check to the agency to cover the last of the program fees. The mess I'm standing in the middle of? The contents of our office. Seth painted the office walls, but ran out of paint before he could finish. Chaos is lovely, isn't it?

We also mailed the care package to Mel, a mom who is picking her daughter up next week. We sent a photo album for both kids, a blanket for our babe, stuffed animal and bag for our big girl (what girl doesn't like a pink purse?) and a couple little clothing items.

Seth's attempt at putting together our crib...looks great until you notice that the side rail is not attached and just leaning against the crib.

He ended the entire charade with a flourish by tossing his jacket on the floor and growling, "It's so HOT in here!" We keep our house at a balmy 67 degrees. I laughed out loud then called him Chris Farley.

What now?

To avoid confusion among my family and friends who aren't sure of how things progress from here...

1. Right now we are expecting a FedEx (you know how I love those guys) package from AWAA. This will include a hard copy of everything Duni emailed us. Also included are acceptance forms that we will sign and send back (along with a large sum of money).

2. Girmachew, our rep in Ethiopia, will submit our paperwork to the Ethiopian courts requesting a court date.

3. Several weeks from now (hopefully) we have a successful day in court. Seth and I are NOT in Ethiopia for this. We have given power-of-attorney to Girmachew to represent us in court. On this day our kids become officially OURS. This is the day that I can plaster their cutie faces all over this blog. Betcha can't wait!

4. Girmachew requests an appointment at the American Embassy for us to get our kids visas. This determines the day we travel. This will usually fall 3-4 weeks after court.

5. We go to Ethiopia, pick up our kids, do the Embassy thing and come home. We will probably be in Ethiopia for about a week.

I'm making this seem far more simple than it is. Things can go wrong, things do go wrong, paperwork is tricky sometimes. So, we need your prayers that all pieces of the paperwork fall into the right hands in a timely manner.

Our Official Referral!

Yesterday it happened--we got the call from Duni! All of the information for our daughter is complete so Duni sent us her information in an email. I spend Thursdays out all day with my kids. I guess it's on the road-schooling since we leave the house after breakfast and don't get home until a bit before dinner. Imagine our surprise when Duni's message played! We had stopped on our way home at the store to pick out a few things to send to our kids. Mel graciously agreed to bring a few things to the transition home when she travels to pick up her daughter next week. We are so thrilled with this! My mind is still reeling, because we didn't expect to hear from Duni so soon.

Our daughter is beautiful. In one photo she has a gorgeous smile, and in the second she looks like a total grump. Ella is thrilled with these pictures, as she was concerned earlier this week when we only had a picture of her brother. When she prayed last night, she said, "God, thank you, I got to see a picture of my sister on the computer."

Oddly enough, my ticker yesterday said 9 months of waiting. We got our referral exactly 9 months after our dossier was accepted. Isn't that funny?

Along the same strange lines...I have a prayer journal. That sounds a little more formal that it is. It's just a composition pad that I started writing in 2 years ago. I spend time with God daily, but I don't write in it everyday. I think I even let 6 months pass without writing in it once. Though sometimes, it's nice to pour your heart out on paper. Then praise God when he brings peace in a hardship. It has been a blessing to read through it to see what we struggled with and how God has answered our prayers over time. He is so faithful! So, this morning, I was writing about our referral and a thought about dates hit me. I was wondering how long we have actually been in the 'process of adoption'. So I turned back, almost to the beginning. There, was the date Feb 22, 2006. And I read, "Last night I told Seth about my prayers for adopting again and he agreed that we should adopt."

I don't know why we waited 9 months, I never would have expected it. I don't understand all of the history of my new kids. BUT I do know that the date of our willingness to trust God and the date of our referral--that isn't a coincidence! God is in the details. He puts His mark on our lives, showing us that He is listening and He does care. Did He slow things down so that we wouldn't get our referral until now, just so these dates would match? Nah, I don't think so. I think He's got more important reasons for the timing of this. But would He tweak the day that Duni calls, just to reveal himself to us? Certainly.

FINALLY!!

We got the call...sort of. Duni called to get me to stop pestering her ease my anxiety. I'm anxious? I guess I may have communicated a bit of anxiety in an email to her. She's so nice to call and reassure me that all is going along. She said we are waiting on our daughter's bloodwork results to be processed in Germany. Gulp. Daughter? But she has the complete information on our son. Double gulp. Our son?! She offers to email me his information along with a picture, would I like that--to hold me over until she can call with our complete referral.

Would I like that? No, I'd love that! I hang up the phone, in the dumb fashion I did the last time I talked to her. Didn't ask if the kiddos were together, didn't ask ages, names, if they are in the transition home. Just weeped my thanks and hung up. I'm still a bumbling mess of emotions.

Then I started yelping and jumping up and down. The kids weren't as startled as I would have expected. I was yelling, "A picture! A picture!!" Sobbing. So excited. They looked at me nonchalantly, and Everett said, "A picture?" Where have they been the past 9 months?!

I called Seth and managed to squeak out, "Everything...is...okay. Duni called." I gave him the news, and he was happy. Happy? Evidently, he is uncomfortable expressing emotion in his office. He called me back 5 minutes later from the bathroom. From there he was quite excited.

So, we got one precious picture in an email. I looked at the message and asked the kids if we should wait to download the picture until daddy gets home and look at it together. They voted 2:1 against waiting for daddy. I was relieved, because I would have had to take a peek if the vote would have gone otherwise. Then they screamed about how cute he is and I wept a bit more.

So there you have it, sort of. I hope to give you GREAT news about our girlie in the next week or so.

Ethiopian cooking for the inexperienced

I posted about our geography night, but left the topic of Ethiopian cuisine for another post. This is that post! For those of you who would never, in a million years, want to eat Ethiopian food, much less cook it, then come back another day.

My family first ate Ethiopian food two years ago. We loved it. Not only Seth and I, but the three kids too. They loved eating injera and using their fingers. Since then, they are always excited when we get a chance to eat Ethiopian food (not too often, the closest restaurant is 45 minutes away). I would love to cook Ethiopian at home, but I'm a pretty timid cook. I spent the first few years of marriage trying to find my way around the kitchen. I became an avid cookbook collector, hoping that I would soak up skills by reading about great chefs. Now I have a massive culinary library, still lacking the talent that would be very beneficial. Oh, but there is something about reading a good recipe, knowing that I couldn't replicate it! So, it's with this mindset that I decided to conquer Ethiopian food.

First, I knew we needed injera (Ethiopian flat bread). In reading extensively about making it (here's a great series of posts on the process), I decided that I would NOT be making it. First of all, teff flour is hard to find. Secondly, I can only imagine the havoc if I spent 13 days (not a typo, I mean 13 DAYS!) preparing a perfect yeasty, teffy dough only to cook it wrong. The first time it sticks to the pan--whammo! I'd have to throw it against the wall. Not good. So for sanity's sake I just figured we need to buy injera. Unfortunately, no one around here sells it, we would have to make a visit to one of the restaurants that are closed on Mondays. I stumbled onto this post though--this gal, she thinks like me! Working on a recipe for 13 days? No thanks--here's the easy method for making injera. It lacks the sour taste that you would get in the traditional method, but does the duty for scooping food up with your meal.

Easy Injera
2 C white flour
1 Tbs baking powder
1 tsp salt
(or substitute the above with 2 C self-rising flour) **this is what I did in order to simplify**
1/2 C whole wheat flour
1 C. soda water
2 C water
Sift the flour, add the soda water and regular water. Stir. You should have a thin batter.
Heat a griddle or wide pan with some vegetable oil until it's hot enough that a drop of water dances on it. **I did this, and my first try came out crispy, like a fried pancake. After that attempt, I used only a paper towel with minimal oil**
Pour a ladle (amount should be adjusted for the size of your pan) of batter in the center and swirl it around. You may need to "push" the batter out with the back of a spoon. It should make a thin crepe-like layer.
Cook over fairly high heat. The top will bubble as it sets. If I think the bottom will brown too much but the top isn't setting, I put a lid on the pan for 5-10 seconds to trap the heat to help the top set. I use a thin metal spatula to loosen it from the pan and then slide it out on to a platter. Roll the injera cigar-like and set aside. Wipe the pan with a paper towel with some oil on it and start the next one.
If your injera is sticking to the pan too much, it's possible that your griddle is not hot enough.
**This recipe only makes enough for 2 people, I think I did about 4 times this and we had more than enough**

As for the rest of the meal... I saw this recipe for Atar Aleche on the Ethiopian Adoption blog. This is similar to the split pea soup I make, but spicier and yummier. It was very easy to make, I pureed the onions for simplicity. I also used butter instead of niter kibbeh. My kids DEVOURED this, it wasn't too spicy.

Atar Alecha: Spicy split peas
Ingredients 1 onion, pureed in food processor
2 garlic cloves, finely minced or mashed through a garlic press
2 tablespoon niter kibbeh (or plain butter if you do not have niter kibbeh on hand)
1 cup dry split green peas, rinsed and drained
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
1 teaspoon salt
3 teaspoons green chili, seeded and finely chopped
1 cup water
Directions
Soak the split peas for an hour in three cups of water. Bring the peas to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer 30-45 minutes, adding more water if necessary. When the peas are cooked, drain any excess water and mash well. Set aside.In a dry pan over medium heat, stir-fry the onion and garlic for 2 minutes, stirring frequently. Turn heat down a little. Add the niter kibbeh or butter and sauté until the onion becomes transparent. Add the mashed peas, turmeric, salt and green chili to the onion mixture. Add the water and cook to reduce the mixture to a thick, well-spiced puree. Serve warm or room temperature with injera.

The split pea recipe didn't make very much. Fearing I wouldn't have enough food for our geography night guests (because isn't this everyone's worst nightmare?), I found this recipe on the same blog. I originally had hoped to make a Shiro, but don't have any shiro powder. The Waal's had brought home a tupperware full of berbere, and shared some with me. This recipe was also EASY (or as Eli would say, "Easy as a piece of pie."). A little bit spicy, but my kids still ate it. Though I think it set fire to a few timid souls at the geography night.

Siga Wot
3 lg Onions --mince fine or puree in food processor
1/2 c. oil
5 Potatoes, cubed small
2 tomatoes -- chop very fine or puree in food processor
2 c. Water
2 lb hamburger, browned with 5 garlic cloves.
1/4 c. berbere (or less if you like it mild)
In dry pan over moderate heat, stir fry the onions for 4-5 minutes, stirring constantly. Add the oil and berbere and cook for about 1 minute longer. Add the potatoes, water, hamburger and tomato paste and stir well. Cook, covered, over medium heat for about 30 mins, or until the potatoes are tender. Stir frequently. Turn heat down and add a bit more oil if it starts to stick. There should be a moderate amount of sauce. Serve warm with injera or rice.

This was such a success for my family I will definitely be making this meal again. AND I might even get my courage up enough to stop reading about the marvelous Ethiopian meals and prepare a few others!

This is what most people call

a serious case of bed head.

Unless you are Everett (or Robert Smith). When he saw his hair today, he said, "This is what you call a good hair day."

He's completely serious. He tries to make his hair look like this...on purpose! So he's loving that today he did nothing, just woke up and "voila!" hair already mangled crafted to perfection. What's a mom to do?

And, yes, he is wearing a fur vest. I won't even go there.

Around the world in 80 minutes

My family has an acronym we use often. TITF (read Tih-t-ffff). I'd give you a chance to guess what it stands for, but I doubt you'd get it. So, here it is: taking it too far. We created the acronym one night when my sister took a joke "too far." My mom takes on projects with such gusto that we began using it frequently in reference to her...exuberance? Her planning gone nuts extreme passion has surfaced in myself and my three sisters. When she pulls out the spreadsheet detailing the meals we will enjoy while visiting her house, we glance at each other and whisper, "TITF". We get a good laugh when mom's doing it. Sadly, it rears it's ugly head every once in a while in our lives--while planning a brunch, going on vacation, or...doing school projects.

My kids and I decided to take part in a geography night. When I asked them if they would like to just go and visit or be in charge of a table; they all voted to do our own table. This could possibly be the first indication that the "TITF" curse has already passed on. As the story continues you will find that I am too far gone to ever help my kids recover and lead normal lives. Anyway...back to geography night. I coerce them into deciding that Ethiopia would be the best choice for a country. We visit the library, read books, look online at info and draw a diagram of how we want our big board to turn out. At night, while the kids are asleep, Seth catches me cutting out photos and matting them on cardstock. His accusing tone stings, but I reply, "Oh, honey, you really don't want the kids using a papercutter. Come on, this is a matter of safety!"

The kids were so pleased when the display board gets finished almost overnight. We press on and soon the big day arrives. There are a few loose ends to tie up. Everett is most concerned with what outfit he will be wearing (definite indicator of TITF, why MUST we have costumes?). Ella has borrowed a traditional Ethiopian dress from friends, so Seth digs around in the attic and pulls out a soccer jersey. This pacifies Everett, and he couples it with a corduroy suitcoat (since that is what an Ethiopian boy wore in one of our books) and jeans with holes in the knees. Later that night he will wonder why no one seems to 'get his costume' but for now he's pleased. Eli wears a running shirt because he wants to be like the famous runner, Haile GebreSelassie. I'm just wondering how I'm going to pull together Ethiopian cuisine.

Our plan was to visit one of three Ethiopian restaurants for lunch. All about 1 hour away and they are all closed on Mondays. So that plan didn't work out. Do I admit defeat? No way--if we only provide a display board, children's books, Ethiopian coffee service set, Ethiopian money, traditional clothes, but no food? Well, we wouldn't be TITF, thus letting down our family curse. So, I hit the internet and attempt to cook my first Ethiopian meal ever. That is a post in itself, so I'll leave you with pictures of our successful trip around the world.

100

In keeping with traditions in bloggy world, this is my 100th post so I should be posting a list of 100 things, probably about me. That is intimidating. So I will put it off. Is that cheating?

All for naught

This is just an update on a slightly horrid day. The horrid part was really just the MRI experience with Ella. Several things went wrong for us. I won't go into major detail (shocker there). To sum it up: the IV had to be put in before the anesthetic, the anesthetic was unexpectedly administered rectally, and 2% of children don't respond to the anesthetic.

Our daughter happens to reside in that rare 2%. Imagine that. She fought everything, even the sleep inducing drugs. After a second dose, she still didn't pass out. The only good thing: we got some very sweet time together as I rocked her for an hour. She was very sleepy and I realized that I probably haven't sat down and just ROCKED her in a few years! We used to rock every night before bed (very good bonding experience).

After several hours in the hospital, we left knowing we will have to return in the near future. At which time they will administer GAS to my poor little girl.

She left in high spirits though. Seth promised her pancakes at Cousin Ron's pancake house. That brings a smile to even the most shaken soul. I was so tense when we sat down I looked at Seth and said, "I think I need to cry." Then ordered a belgian waffle with whipped cream and strawberries. Ella followed my wonderful example. Nothing like drowning a bad experience in fluff and sugar.

Total randomness

The past two weeks have been busy with our agency. Our in country representative has been running around trying to get court scheduled for five families that have been waiting since mid-October. In all of his rush to do that, he's still managed to get paperwork done for 5 referrals. Wednesday, two families (go see pictures of one baby) had successful court appointments and today the five families who have been waiting finally have court. We've been praying that all five families would have a successful ruling and travel arrangements are made soon. They will hear this afternoon about court. You can check two of their blogs if you'd like: Steigers, and Treadwells as they will be able to post pictures of their kids after they are legally theirs.

We are....still.....waiting....and I am getting a tired of it. Can I say that? It just hit me hard today.

It's been nearly 9 months, so I'm trying to remember that this is how long the wait is when you are pregnant. Certainly we can wait 9 months for our kids. BUT, we have been *in process* since 2006. Almost two years ago we decided to adopt again! So, really, we are birthing an elephant. I'm ready to POP. It doesn't help that all other areas of my life seem in a state of flux.

Seth drives an hour to the Big City everyday for work. He makes the most of his time, but it's still an hour to work. Then an hour home. Then if it snows, well...you get the picture. We don't really want to move up there, but off and on we talk about it. Yesterday, he sent me a link detailing 2 years of road work that will probably add another hour to his commute. That would make his commute beyond ridiculous. So we made a list. We both love lists. Somehow you can feel like you accomplished something when you make a list. Even though nothing has really been done. This list has been made many times before. It's the "What we need to finish so we can sell our house" list. And it's long...and depressing. And we never do anything on it.

Today, Ella has an MRI scheduled at noon. Just to see what's happening in her noggin. The great mystery won't be solved by an MRI, but perhaps we can feel better knowing we now have pictures of her brain. I teased her that we may find out she's missing part of her brain. Eli is quite intrigued with the idea of taking pictures inside Ella's head. Last night, in a very concerned tone, he asked me if they would stick a camera up her nose. Though I explained in detail how it would all happen, I guess he zoned out at my first words, "Ella has to go to the hospital so they can take some pictures of her brain."

I can only imagine what's he's been cooking up for the past week. Ella seems clueless, though she was concerned about not getting any breakfast this morning. I'm also concerned. How do you hold off feeding a kid who's first words every morning are, "We eatin' cereal, Mommy?"

I spent a lot of time praying about that, because eating breakfast is a big deal to this little girl. I also prayed a lot about how things are going to go down at the hospital. When Ella had her past surgeries, she was two. They gave her a stuffed dog and she went off with the anesthesiologist. The second time she got a tea set (huh?). Now she's older and wiser. She pitches a fit when she has to leave the waiting area to have her weight taken. Don't even think about getting her blood pressure, as that will throw her into a fit of hysteria. So I covet your prayers this afternoon. That she won't be scared and that the MRI will come back with good results.

Recommendations

I've stumbled upon some interesting stuff lately and thought I'd share it here. Unfortunately, it may not be so interesting for all of you in bloggy world, but I'm the one in charge here ;)

My Flesh and Bone (click for the trailer)-Seth and I got this documentary from Netflix and it took us about 3 weeks before we finally watched it. We knew it would be hard to watch, and it was. It documents a year in the life of a family of 14, many of the children are special needs, all being cared for by their single mom. It was very moving. Here's Susan Tom's website.

The Connected Child-This book was recommended by a dear friend who has a daughter that was adopted as an older child. We share stories about the antics of our daughters, oddly, their behaviors are quite similiar. She found this book and called me immediately telling me it is a must read. It's hard, as an adoptive parent, to find a book that helps you parent your child. I don't generally think about Ella as my "adopted kid" but when I'm assessing her behavior, I always think about her past in regards to her reactions. This book has been brilliant in helping to understand why she may be doing some of the things she does. It mentions seizures specifically (last night I read that alcohol in utero can cause seizures in children). Though we'd love to just forget where our kids spent their first years (when in a bad situation), those are the years that most affect how they deal with the present. It takes A LOT to overcome all of the struggles and this book is the first that I've read that moves beyond the--get ready for this, you don't know what you are getting into--stage. It's more of--we are going to equip you to help your kids overcome their first years. I haven't finished the book, but wanted to pass it along while I was thinking about it.



Jane Kurtz I just read about this author on our agency's yahoo forum. I hadn't heard of her, but once I saw her books; I realized that the kids and I have read several of them. We are planning on doing a geography night with a local homeschool group next Monday. I've been trying to get some fictional picture books on Ethiopia (because we are, duh, the Ethiopian table at this shindig) so that Ella and Eli can get a feel for Ethiopia. We've been devouring Ethiopian history books, non-fiction picture books, internet sites on Ethiopia--but a lot of it is over their heads. Eli's favorite thing so far is Haile G, famous Ethiopian runner. Ella's most interesting pick is the bath of the Queen of Sheba (pictured in a book we went through). Obviously we need to delve in a bit more. Jane Kurtz is the lady I've been looking for! She was raised in Ethiopia, when she came to the US as an adult she missed the country so she started writing about it. She's part of a very cool program, Ethiopia reads. Even if you aren't interested in Kurtz, go check out the Ethiopia reads site--it may push you to do something for a kiddo in Ethiopia!



This article from Parade magazine-My sweet Grandma clipped this out and sent it to me. Which was so kind, because I stopped getting the local paper (it served no purpose other than to fill the recycling bin). I had heard about the article, but hadn't taken the time to search it out. If you haven't read it, go take a peek. It's a very eloquent piece written by Melissa Faye Greene about a trip to Ethiopia with her daughter. It will touch you.

Snow Day

This morning I really thought that today we would get the call. We had been anticipating a snow storm for days. It finally hit early this morning. Seth got a call at 5 am (as he was walking out the door) telling him that he had the day off. As he was stripping his coat off, telling me the good news, my first thought was, "Today would be a great day to get the call."




Alas, it didn't come. But we enjoyed a snow day anyway.

Eli recovering from daddy's snowball.

Everett trying to avoid daddy's snowball.

Daddy relentlessly pummelling his children with snowballs. And enjoying it.

Though it may seem like our referral consumes me, it really doesn't. My heart jumps a few times during the day-especially when the phone rings. Otherwise, I'm so busy with living my life that waiting for our referral doesn't cripple me. I think about our kids that aren't with us. A lot. I don't think about them in a sad, wonder-if-they-are-hungry, sort of way. I can't do anything but pray. So, I pray that God provides for their needs and that their paperwork will fall into the right hands. I pray that their first family has peace in whatever situation they are in. I pray that the kids who are here in our house right now don't have a hard time when we bring our other kiddos home.

Then, I think about what it will be like when they finally get here. I relish a few moments of bliss. Because I know (remember, I've been there before) that bringing a child into your home isn't always happy moments. There are trials and terse times, but for now I can totally just spend this time dreaming about holding two more kids. Squeezing two more little bodies onto the sofa at night as we read. Pulling more chairs up to the table for meals. Watching two more little fish at the pool. Blowing two more sets of kisses as I whisper, "Goodnight, I love you."

Resolution

I heard screaming downstairs and realized that something alarming had happened. Everett's tooth popped out, hit the coffee table, then flew under the sofa. Eli retrieved it for him and we all admired it's...color? shape? weird hole that was obviously connected to something nasty inside his gums? At least it's out, now only three more to go... Picture to follow...

This is a problem...

After several attempts to pull this bugger; I've finally resigned to the fact that we may have to ask a professional to rid us of this unsightly tooth. Initially, it was funny that Everett could push it perpendicular to his gums. He thinks it's hilarious to grit his teeth and nearly (but unsucessfully) pop the tooth out. I gag everytime I look at him and that can't be good for his self-esteem. After one week of "look at this, Mom," I think I might hog tie him and knock him in the mouth with a hammer pluck it out.

This is his first time to lose a tooth; he was shown up by his baby sister (who swallowed her first tooth, then popped the other out this summer in the pool--no pulling needed). Right now he has four loose teeth, I don't think I can bear it...gag.

I'm Back

My kids and I just returned from a week long trip to visit my sisters (we flew on skybus and I would suggest if you can swing it to use them, I got $20 tickets!). I arrived home to a message from my aunt requesting an update on my blog. She's frantic about a phone call she heard about from my grandma who heard about it from my mom who heard about it from me. Why do I bother blogging when the grapevine works so well?

To appease my aunt, who is probably my most diligent reader, I will have to update on this mysterious phone call. First, I want to post links to two families' blogs who are in Ethiopia right now picking up their babies. The pictures are fabulous and the video is great and I soooo wish that Seth and I were there with them picking up our kids, but first we need a referral! Go check out the Carpenter's and the David's journeys!

So back to the phone call...
I was at the library and couldn't answer my cell phone. When I checked the message it was a Virginia number and my heart jumped. Then I thought, "Nah, calm down it's probably nothing."

So I called Duni back, but she was gone. Her message stated that she had a quick question for me. I was kicking myself for not getting the phone; and wondering what "quick question" meant. That wouldn't be what she said if she had our referral, right?

When she finally called back I was in the van with the kids (plus extra baby). Before I answered I told the kids to "SHUSH, This could be important about the babies!!!" (say that fast, loud, and filled with drama and you will get the idea). Evidently, that worked because they sat silently listening to my end of the conversation--no arm flapping for silence needed.

The quick chat went something like this:
"Apryl, I got a call from Ethiopia yesterday. We know you requested a boy under 12 months and a girl under 3 years old. They were wondering if you would be open to adopting a 4 year old girl."

"Of course," Me, dumbfounded, cannot speak, cannot even think straight.

"Okay, great, have a nice day."

I grunt a reply and hang up. Pretty eloquent. Pretty thrilling.

Then I sat and nearly cried. I don't know why I almost cried, maybe because I'm a dufus or maybe because one day in the near future I'm going to hear the names and ages of my children. This is finally happening, folks! We are inching along, but this is progress. Sort of.

When Seth finally returned my frantic call, he shot questions at me left and right. And I had no answers, because, well, see above conversation. By the time I spoke to him I had determined that Duni was calling just in case--you know, hypothetical. Then I got to my sister's house. Imagine the torment there--two sisters plus my mom--"Well, what did that mean? You need to call her back. She won't care." They drove me crazy until I emailed Duni about the call. She emailed back saying, "In reference to your question; yes, we do have potential children but please know that there is a lot of process taking place behind the scenes before we can refer children. We are required by law to have all the medical and social history of a child before we inform prospective adoptive parents. All I can tell you and your family is to rest assured that we are actively processing your case. But as for time frame…we are working to have you complete the adoption and travel by early spring."

Now, I'm pretty pumped about that response. I won't hold her to the "travel by early spring" part, but just to know something would be great. I'm trying to be patient, carrying the cell phone with me always, possibly peeing my pants everytime it rings. To all you who call me on that phone--stop. Call my house, leave a message--retro, but I assure you that it will work. And I'll have a few less gray hairs.

Ella's Latest

"What's the difference between God and a doctor?"


"God knows He's not a doctor."


This is the joke that a friend told me after I relayed our experience with the neurologist this week. I knew it was bad from the second he walked into the examining room. He brushed past Seth without a glance. Made eye contact with me (then looked away without saying anything) and proceeded to station himself in front of Ella's file and read. For five minutes.

I've never experienced that before, ever. My parents taught me to greet someone upon meeting them for the first time. I am teaching my kids that--firm handshake, look at their face, and respond in a polite way, "Hi, how are you today?" We have even role played. Evidently, this doctor wasn't taught properly or lost all the practical lessons upon graduation of medical school. It's a shame. His momma is probably proud of his accomplishments but ashamed that his people skills are so lacking. He's probably a good doctor, but I couldn't like him. I really tried.

After asking a few questions about Ella's "episodes" he said, "Well, let's start her on this medication. It's relatively new. Has caused lethal rashes in some cases, but if we are careful with doses that won't be a problem. I'll write the script."

Whoa, wait a second! Might we discuss this, would you care to go into detail about the rashes? The LETHAL rashes? Are there other meds we could talk about? Oh, but you are typing on your little computer and ignoring us again. Hmmm. I interrupted his typing and started asking questions. I'm like that. Perturbing.

The doctor showed his irritation by answering my questions in you-are-an-idiot fashion.

Evidently I am an idiot, because I still had to come home and do some "research" on the internet. What did I find? My daughter is having absence seizures, and she has epilepsy. Will she grow out of this? No one knows. She's taking a little white pill that could cause a rash (but unlikely) that will be evidence of deeper, darker things going on in her body. Hopefully, the little white pill (which will evolve into 12 little white pills by March) will help her brain to stop shooting random electrical impulses during "math" class with Mommy. This diagnosis also gives us hope that Ella doesn't have ADHD, but instead is having so many seizures that she loses track of what she was saying/doing.

My mom mentioned what a blessing it is for us to still be waiting for our Ethiopian kiddos. We've been a little hectic lately and it's nice to get Ella "taken care of" before we go to Ethiopia. My mom is such an optimist, and in this case I will agree. It's nice to get things on the homefront settled before we launch ourselves into chaos.

Look at the Ticker

After I wrote that last post, I looked at the ticker (I should remove that so I can get rid of some stress). People, do you see that thing? Do you see that in 2 days it will be one week shy of EIGHT months?! Is this driving anyone else CRAZY?

Sigh.

I feel a smidge better now.

But only a smidge. I'd like to be expecting a phone call from America World. I don't want to get my hopes up only to have them dashed.

I underlined this (in green crayon) in my Bible this morning:
Many, O Lord my God, are thy wonderful works which thou has done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered. Psalm 40:5

Last night a missionary spoke at church and read this verse. Funny how that goes, I've read through Psalms and that has never jumped out at me (or it would already be underlined). But it sure struck me last night.

God does wonderful works--how do I know, what is the proof? I've seen them. I have experienced them in my life, the wonderful works that he does. I've been in situations that cry out of God's provision. Isn't that enough? Shouldn't I be able to look back over the times that He has provided, that he has proven His love for me? It sure should be enough. But God does more--His thoughts are on me. And my kids.

Lately, I've been thinking about our kids that aren't with us. I pray for them throughout the day, but I guard myself against spending too much time thinking about them because it breaks my heart. I feel so sad for them that it's crippling. Since I can't see where they are, it doesn't help for me to be upset. Right now they may be with their first parents, happy and healthy. And I want them to stay there for as long as possible. Isn't it grand to know that God knows where they are and His thoughts are on them?

Last week, Everett broke down crying before bed. I thought he was missing our family, or sad coming home after the holidays. He finally sputtered out that he misses our kids that aren't here. Our house feels lonely.

Eli is asking me at least twice a day about his 'brother and sister'. He prays for them to come home soon; even asking for prayer for them in Sunday School class. Seeing his big brother in tears probably didn't help the situation any.

So what could I say? I sat down on the floor next to their beds and told them the story of getting Ella. They had heard the abbreviated version before. But they had not heard about the mix-ups, the lost paperwork, and us being mistaken for another American couple. Then I explained that the family who wanted to adopt Ella ended up changing their minds, because the mommy who was told she would never have a baby, found out that she was going to have a baby. I went on to say that it is hard, and confusing but God has two kids picked out for our family and they just aren't ready yet.

That brings me back to the verse--the very last line give me a lump in my throat. "Thy thoughts which are to us-ward...they are more than can be numbered."

Good News is Nice Once in a While

Last week my nagging feeling finally gave way to action and I pulled out my copy of the beloved dossier. As I stood over sizzling pans and cooked dinner, I poured over the dates on each document. Much to my chagrin, our medicals and police clearances were done last March. Our homestudy was dated April 17. So much for being on the ball and getting everything done in a "timely manner." This is the one time in my life that being efficient may have a backlash. I never would have thought last year that we would still be waiting to bring home our kids, ummm, I mean, hear anything of our kids.

Before I freaked out I asked our new family coordinator at America World what this would mean for re-doing stuff. Then I held my breath. She said that it varied state-to-state. Huh? Doesn't Ethiopia care that my paperwork is old? I was meticulous with dates while paperchasing for Ukraine, it was stressed to us many, many times to be careful about the dates on documents because you might end up doing it all over again before you travel. I'm still in that mind-set, I guess. So I didn't believe our family coordinator when she said our homestudy date doesn't matter to Ethiopia. Asking for clarification she explained that our states implement the standards for homestudies so we have to find out the specific requirements for the state. Another family is dealing with the same terror, and she called her social worker. She found out that not only would she have to update her homestudy, but the supporting documents (clearances and medicals) would need to be updated also. Shudder. Really big Shudder.

I left a message with my social worker the next day. Expecting to hear that we should start everything again, that we need to schedule doctor's appointments, fingerprinting, and a visit to USCIS...she surprised me. She left a beautiful message for me on my answering machine. "Your homestudy is good for 2 years."

Huh? So I called her, to clarify. Also, these days, good news like that needs to be heard a few times. She jubilantly told me that, Yes, our homestudy is good for two years. Though our fingerprints will need to be updated in June for USCIS, everything else is good for a while. Hanging up the phone, I did a happy dance and twirled with the nearest kiddo. What great news! We won't need to update things, until June. Screeching to a halt, "June? Are we still going to be waiting in June?"

First time for everything

I wrote this a while ago, but couldn't post because, well, it would ruin the surprise!

This is unrelated to adoption, my kids, or my family. Today I did something that I've never done before in my life. I accomplished a feat I never thought I'd do. And I actually have spent time thinking about doing it, but never thought myself capable of the task. I made a dress.
Yep, there you have it folks, I ACTUALLY MADE SOMETHING WORTHY OF WEARING. What could possibly warrant me taking on something so momentous? Calm down, folks, we didn't get a referral, my dear friend is having a sweet baby girl. Since this is her fourth child, and since she's standing on the precipice of 40--I thought she might deserve something extra special. Not that nearing 40 and having a fourth child (and doing so quite gracefully, if I do say so myself) isn't special enough!

I set out last night to start on this creation and I can't believe it, but I actually finished this cutie-patootie dress and a matching blanket. Though I have sewed before; I have NEVER, EVER put a zipper on anything. For a half-a-second I thought about plugging in the hot glue gun, but I took a deep breath and attached the zipper foot to the machine (after calling my mom to ask what a zipper foot is).

Viola, here is the culmination of my efforts...





Will I do this again? Oh dear, I don't know. I think, IF we get referred a baby girl that I could pass the time waiting for travel by sewing her sweet nothings to wear. Do I think that likely to happen? Not really, because I'll be running around like a chicken with her head cut off. And chickens are not well known for their sewing skills, especially when missing their heads.

Life with Six (or Life with 5 take 2)

I posted almost a year ago about watching my nephews for the day. I thought that was a taste of what my future would be. It seemed pretty good. Today, I had another taste and it made me shudder...

For a few weeks (excluding Christmas break) I've been helping a friend by watching her youngest, a 7 month old chubster. He has got to be the easiest baby I've ever met. For those of you who don't know what "easy" means--in my book an easy baby does two things. They can hang out while I make lunch or dinner and they go to sleep on their own.

Today, I watched the chubby little guy and his two older sibs, a 2 year old and 6 year old. I don't know how to explain what the day was like; but I'll say that I hope my future isn't like what this day held. Thankfully, 2 year olds still take naps, even if they scream until they are red in the face and try to kick you. Their bodies are tired and little and will finally succomb to exhaustion before you do. Though I know my life with two more kids will be different than a day babysitting--this day exhausted me and I didn't even attempt schooling! I called Seth in the middle of the day and asked him who's big idea it was to adopt two kids at once. He laughed and reminded me that he wanted an older child and I pleaded for babies. Basically, no sympathy from him.

I did get the opportunity to evaluate how my house IS NOT ready for a baby and toddler. Later in the afternoon I called Seth again to tell him that we need to move. We have entirely too many levels in our house and we definitely must get rid of the bunkbeds--they mean death for climbing toddlers. Again he laughed.

Eli is FIVE

Five years ago our youngest arrived so quickly that Seth and I hadn't quite figured out what to name him. After a quick post-birth discussion we decided to name him Elijah Judson. Now he's known as 'lij, 'lijah, 'lijabah, Elijah Judson (when in trouble) or just JUDSON (when in really big trouble), Burpmaster, and Heyyou.

He is a mellow, easy to please little guy. Though he definitely has his moments of TOTAL and COMPLETE fury rage relentless passion during a wrestling match (we have had to call him off of adult men to keep THEM from being injured).

Today he requested my famous cream of potato soup for his birthday supper, appropriately named "Divine Potato Soup" because, surely, potato soup in heaven will taste like this. Here is Eli enjoying a little bit of heaven.

We are celebrating with our extended family at the end of the month, but we had to have cupcakes and ice cream on his actual birthday. Here's a blurry, but cute, picture of the birthday boy blowing out his candle.

Eli is thrilled to be five, when he woke up this morning he said, "I'm as old as Ella now!" Much to her dismay.

Merry Christmas...Happy New Year!

I left my computer behind and visited family for nearly 2 weeks. I feel like a slacker since I haven't posted anything for a long while, and I wanted to wish everyone a belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! If you are one of the "lucky ducks" who got our snail mail card, then disregard the rest of this message, otherwise, this is what I mailed out as a Christmas greeting. If you just loved the card enough to read and enjoy it again...then feel free to continue reading...

Merry Christmas!

The first Christmas God sent a wonderful gift, His son Jesus Christ. He was sent to redeem a fallen world; and give peace to those who accept His sacrifice on the cross as a payment for their sins. We hope that you will enjoy true peace and joy this Chrismas by accepting this gift of God.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Our family is expecting BIG news in the next few months. We should be receiving the details of the children we are adopting from Ethiopia. We are all very excited about the addition of two children to our family! This Christmas season we hope that you, too, have been adopted.

"...God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law, to redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons." Galatians 4:4-5

Rudolph Made Ella Cry

Yesterday I gave the kids a ‘day off’ from school. I pushed them a little bit harder earlier in the week with plans for a “party” on Friday. Though we started off as a normal day, I surprised them with a stack of crafts and coloring pages. One of the crafts was this cute little guy:

Some of you may not know (so I’ll tell you), Ella has complex syndactylism in her left hand. In normal speak that means that her fingers were fused together. In some cases, syndactyly is only webbing between the fingers, in Ella’s case she had no defined digits. When we brought her home she had a series of surgeries to “give” her fingers. Her bone structure is so poorly formed that the hand surgeon, as good as he was, couldn’t give her five digits. So, she has a thumb and two fingers. Her hand rarely is an issue, I honestly forget about it most of the time. She has never exhibited any feelings—good or bad—regarding her ‘little hand.’ When we are presented with projects that require hand tracing, I’m an equal opportunity hand tracer. I don’t shrink away from crafts requiring hand prints because I don’t want Ella to grow up feeling weird or funny because she has a ‘little hand’. That has ALWAYS been fine. And that has ALWAYS been my policy. My policy changed yesterday.

Each of the kiddos traced their foot on brown paper; then traced their hands on black paper. Ella balked when I started to trace her little hand. She looked at Everett’s nearly completed reindeer and said, “But my hand is different.”

In a moment of poor mommying I said, “Yes, your hand is different, but it’s still going to look nice as an antler on your reindeer.” Looking back I should have taken more time, maybe looked closer at her face to see how upset she was, but I didn’t.

She seemed unconvinced by my statements, but let me trace both hands. Then she started getting frustrated with her cutting skills, and I had the idea that for the first time she may actually CARE about how this craft turns out. For the most part she has generally done crafty things to appease me, and keep up with her brothers. Unconcerned with the finished product, or whether she finishes them, sometimes she even goes so far as to destroy the project as she creates it. So, we press on, gluing the antlers onto the footprint, then sticking a fuzzy glitter nose on. The kids were giggling at how their reindeer turned out, laughing that Eli drew a big smiley face and Ella drew eyebrows. I was surprised that Ella went beyond my expectations by drawing a face on her reindeer. We hung the little guys up and moved onto the next “phase” of our partying. Carmel corn and Disney’s “A Christmas Carol” followed by gifts (play dough and paint by numbers).

All was well, until Seth came home. Excited to share what we did today, the kids ran around showing him the pages they created, the paintings they did and then ran to the window to show him their reindeer. This is when our day took a turn. The boys were jumping around, general mayhem and excitement, “Look at my guy, he’s so cute!”
“I made a smile, look at my Rudolph!”
“Mine is weird. I no like him.” This came from Ella. And it hurt my heart. Then she looked up at Seth and collapsed in tears.

Several thoughts raced through my mind as I tried to figure out how to react. I was (as horrid as this sounds) happy because her feelings were complex, and she hasn’t before shown this sort of emotion. Every reaction she has is based on the concrete—she falls, she cries; she breaks a toy, she cries. She doesn’t deal in the abstract. For her to see her reindeer and realize that it looks different, then see that the difference is because she has a hand with three fingers, then be upset about that—well, that is momentous to me.

So I was excited for a millisecond. Then I saw her sobbing in Seth’s arms and the reality of what was happening set in. This was the official first time for my daughter to cry because of her differences. And I was faced with the stark reality that neither Seth nor I knew how to handle her sobs. He caught my eye and I just stood there, paralyzed. My eyes were welling up with tears and I didn’t want her to see me crying. Seth was whispering in low tones trying to console her. Neither of us had anything spectacular to say. We said what we’ve always said, “God gave you to have a special hand for a reason. We love your little hand.” The boys had gone into compassion mode and were raving about her hand, her reindeer…making fun of themselves; trying anything to cheer her up. As I spoke I felt very scared about what we will face as she gets older. I realize that “God made you with a purpose” probably won’t help a pre-teen stop crying. I know she’s going to ask “Why?” and I won’t have an answer.

Homeschool Family

I got this link last week, but didn't get a chance to see it until a few days ago. I laughed quite hard (especially because they have a big white van). If you are a homeschooler then you will laugh at how ridiculous this is, if you aren't, then you will laugh at how ridiculous this is. Click on this link: Homeschool Family Video

Life's Passing Me By

Thursday I had serious plans. They were so elaborate and extensive that I had a detailed play-by-play of where I should be throughout the day. First on the agenda was to enjoy “A Christmas Carol” at a local theatre. The theatre company had pared down the length of the original show so it would hold the attention of kids. They also pared down the price—which allowed the kids and I to attend (at $25 a pop I was NOT going, but for $5…). Dressed in our best, excited about the morning at the theatre, armed with list of activities to be done after the theatre; we left the house. Two minutes into our trip I experienced shooting pain from my neck down my left arm. Neck pain is unusual for me and in my inexperience I thought if I could just get to the theatre and sit still I would be fine by the end of the show. I was so mistaken! By the end of the show I could barely walk. The tiniest jostling of my arm or my head sent radiating pain through my left side. I sat in the Van, wondering how I would drive home. Tears seeped from my eyes just as much from pain as frustration, I had things to do!

Before you call me a wimp and tell me to take an Aleve and move on…I need to defend myself. The fact that I had tears escaping--big deal. When I was in labor with Eli, without meds, I leaked a few tears. I'm a crybaby about some things, but since I became a mom, not much coddling going on here. With that said, I hurt enough to admit defeat and call Seth in the Big City requesting that he take over as stay-at-home mom/teacher of the brood. When we got home I lay down and didn’t move until that night.

Other things were going on the other side of the world on Thursday. Several families from America World had court. Delays because of incomplete paperwork (on MOWA’s side) had resulted in these families waiting since October for this day. I wanted to spend the day in prayer for these families. Sadly, my best intentions were interrupted by life. In the wee hours of the morning I prayed for them, then I got busy with my schedule. I couldn’t bare my soul to God, because I was busy running amuck with my crew. How plans change! What an interesting way to find myself in prayer for the kids who wait and their families. There on the sofa I spent the day, initially agonizing over all I needed to do while unable to do anything. So I read and prayed.

The end of this story is bittersweet. That evening Seth got online to see the outcome of court. He taunted me by telling me how absolutely adorable the babies were. I’ve been looking forward to seeing pictures of these babies since October, but just couldn’t…get…off…the…sofa (though I tried). Here you can see pictures of the David’s baby girl, Sakari. The Carpenter family received an unfavorable ruling in court, which is quite devastating. They found out on Friday that it was simply a document not being completed by MOWA and will get another opportunity for court on December 28th. I’m already prepping myself to keep most of that day free!

Unsolicited Advice

I try not to give advice unless it's requested. I don't usually stick to it; though I wish I could. Here's a nugget of advice that comes straight from my experience...

If your laundry room lightbulb goes out, you may just want to avoid doing laundry until you replace the bulb. There MAY be SEVERAL different colored crayons in someone's pocket that get missed as you do the laundry in the dark. When you switch the wet clothes into the dryer (still in the dark), you may unknowingly put the crayons in the dryer too. Then after drying the clothes you pull them out and put the next load into the dryer. As you fold the newly washed and dried clothes in a well lit basement, you may FINALLY notice strange colors melted all over each of the freshly cleaned garments. This will strike terror in your heart as you realize that the load in the dryer right now is all YOUR clothes. As you frantically sort through the clean load you won't find any evidence of what did the colorful damage. Terrified, you will race into the dark laundry room to peer into the dryer. You will probably then, in the dim light from the basement, notice that there are globs of melted crayons on the inside of the dryer door. This will result in chipping the crayon off of the door and, sadly, hoping that the bits left on the door won't ruin any of YOUR clothes.

Once you replace the lightbulb you will fruitlessly apply magical stain remover to each spot of crayon that taints the load of children's clothes. Unfortunately, everyone knows that the magic stain remover isn't magic once the stain has been dried into the clothing. So, in the end, you re-wash the load of clothes and still have crayon marks all over each item. But, you rejoice because your clothes are fine. Besides, people will see your children's multi-colored stains and smile at your ability to run your home, school your children, AND assume those stains are from the crafty, colorful adventures you did in your free time!

If you aren't up to that headache--I'd just avoid doing laundry until you have the lightbulb replaced...

Thanks

Thank you to all of you who have left comments or contacted me regarding my last post. It has been such a blessing to read what everyone had to say. We covet your prayers, thank you so much!

I didn't mention in my post that the neurologist that we had been referred to ("The Man" as far as neurologists in this area) scheduled an appointment for us in March. I called Ella's pediatrician and they were upset that he would expect her to wait until then to be seen. Though it wasn't HIM scheduling the appointment, and what would the receptionist know about Ella's case? The pediatrician's office called me the next day with an appointment with a different neurologist in January. This is so much more palatable; I'm hoping that we can get her seizures under control before we go to Ethiopia. I kept thinking a few weeks ago, in the throes of the unknown, "What if I had two more babies here? I would be a mess!" So, even if I was upset about the wait, God's mercy is evident in allowing us time to take care of Ella before we are taking care of two more children.

Encouragement

I have put off posting about this, unsure of how to handle it. I'll try to be short (yeah, right) and to the point. Ella is pretty delayed in all facets of learning. In an attempt to help her (and us) we visited a developmental pediatrician a few weeks ago. After describing some of the things that she was doing, he suggested IQ tests and an EEG. Back in September (when our van broke down), she started fluttering her eyelids and rolling her eyes around. It was that weekend that we were stranded, she was very stressed out, and we all figured it was just how she was handling the stress of...being without the van? When we got home the fluttering didn't stop, it was accompanied by her losing a few seconds of reality. Our pediatrician wasn't concerned about this, but wanted us to see this developmental pediatrician because of Ella's delays. When we described her symptoms and abilities he shocked us by saying that she may be having seizures and she may be mentally retarded.

Neither of these statements should have been shockers--Ella has febrile seizures and has had all sorts of tests run to figure that out. It's not a big deal, it's something she may grow out of, and we just pay close attention to medicating her while she's sick. It seemed strange to me that she would suddenly just start having seizures throughout the day, but I took her for an EEG. The results came back last week; they were abnormal, she is having seizures. Whoa.

Meanwhile, we were visiting a psychologist to see what's going on in Ella's head as far as development. Before he tested her, he spent an hour going over old tests and talking to Seth and I. He found a series of tests that the school system did several years ago. One of those tests generated an IQ score, the school system never told us about that test that they did. The results back then--Ella had an IQ of 71. Whoa.

It was a discouraging week to say the least. Monday morning we met with the psychologist again, this time prepared for the worst. Praise God he gave us good news, sort of. Ella's tests were low, but not because she is incapable of understanding the tests. She's unable to focus long enough to answer the questions (or in some cases even hear the questions). She's got inattentive type ADHD. Something we never would have thought about, because she is NOT hyperactive. As the doctor started talking about solutions to help her, Seth and I were seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Then I blew it and mentioned her recent seizure diagnosis. Evidently, that causes a bit of a problem because most of the meds that treat ADHD can't be taken by people who have seizures.

Okay, we left the office a bit confused, hoping that a neurologist can help us get things straightened out. Last week, with the news of a referral not coming for a few months, I was in the middle of all of that. That was a little bit of relief for me, since I didn't know what was happening with Ella.

Yesterday, we heard that the family ahead of us in line accepted a referral of three siblings. That means we are next...

Tidbits of News

Today a fellow mom spoke extensively with our family coordinator to get the scoop on the wait, referrals, court, the transitional home, and our rep in Ethiopia. She did a comprehensive job of detailing her conversation over at her blog and I won't try to recreate that here. To cram all the information into one blurb:
Our in country representative is now focusing on getting families through court and travelling, he has been busy getting the transitional home up and running, hiring staff for the home, and helpers for him. Once he gets through these next few weeks of work, families successfully make it through court, and travel, then he will be able to focus on referrals.

That is the really, really short of it. I'm saddened by the thought of waiting into March (PLEASE, I don't need a lesson in patience!!) for news of our children, but I feel a smidge relieved knowing that I shouldn't expect the phone to ring in the next month. I can focus on what is swirling around in our family--there is a blizzard going on right now. I can't seem to slow my mind down enough to process any of the "big" news I've gotten recently. When my mind wraps itself around this bit of news and I can find a way to gracefully relay the news that is slowly unfolding within our family; I'll grab a cup of coffee and update on that!

Back to reality funk

I'm one of those annoying people that cheerfully pop up from bed no matter how early the hour. Today I woke up and laid in bed for at least 30 minutes. For some reason I just couldn't get my gumption going to pull the covers off and creep into the cold bedroom air. I could hear the rain pouring down outside just warning me of another dreary, cold, midwestern day. The cat was curled on my chest, purring, encouraging me to stay in bed just a wee bit longer. So I did.


When I get home from a visit to our families, I struggle getting back into my routine. Today I blamed that for my funk. The responsiblity of being "mom" was weighing heavy on me, and it only got worse. In an effort to feel better I emailed my loving husband. He is not naturally an encourager. I would go so far as to say that he is the worst pessimist I know, he obviously read too much Pooh as a child and decided to mold his personality after Eeyore.

Here's what my message said:
I feel discouraged in "all things having to do with my life" right now. Something about the expanse of time before summer comes, perhaps? The weather is depressing, we have no referral, have no plan for our future, have a stinky smell in the fridge that I can't identify (I tried to), have a dead mouse in the garbage can in the kitchen, and, finally, we have some sticky residue covering the entire kitchen due to the madness of canning that went on before we left.

I should probably explain some of that. It was really just a boohoo fest for me, but the unknowns were pressing down on me as I spent time in prayer this morning. Then the reality of my responsibilities as "mom" cracked me in the head when Eli told me that there was a dead mouse under the table. Whoa, you mean I sat for an hour this morning with a cup of coffee, God, and a dead mouse?! Wait a second, what do we do with this mouse, since I'm the only adult here? See, if I was still at my Mom's house some other adult would definitely take care of this. Probably my dad, if not him then maybe Seth, or my mom, but I would be the last on the list. Because I'm still the child at my Mom's house, and you don't expect a child to clean up a dead mouse. Wake up call for me, as I try to formulate a plan to scoop up the dead mouse. All the while Everett is lamenting the death of the mouse and moaning about "why can't the cats just let them live so we can keep them as pets?"

After I dispose of the mouse body, I look around the kitchen and notice that it just seems dirty. After trying unsuccessfully to slide a canister of granola over on the counter, I realize that the dirtiness is indeed sticky applebutter/juice/sauce residue from the chaos of canning 2 bushels of apples in the last few hours I was at home. Though I thought I cleaned it all up, it was merely a facade of cleanliness. Then it sat all weekend to harden and possibly attract the mouse? ACK--too much to think about on a Monday morning after a holiday weekend. I need to walk away from the kitchen and convince myself that math is important enough to call my children downstairs and start school.

All the while I'm wondering, will we get a call about our children today? Will I even HEAR news of our kids before Christmas, because I honestly thought that maybe, just maybe, we would HAVE our five children together in our living room tearing through gifts this Christmas. I haven't thought this for a long time, but it was depressing to think that we have been waiting for a referral for OVER six months...ugh. So I sent Seth that email. This was his reply...


When I opened the fridge here at work this morning, I noticed it was QUITE stinky, but not to worry it's not my responsibility to clean it out so, whatever. Later, when I went back to reclaim my chicken I realized that the light was out and that the reason for the stink was that the fridge was dead. So, not only was my salad dressing rotten, but my chicken was now in questionable condition. On my way down to eat (and share the possibly rotten chicken) with Andrew in the break room that we've always wanted to eat in but never have because there's an unwritten rule that we have to work through our lunch hour and enjoy the possibly rotten left over pot luck thanksgiving gravy to go with my possibly rotten chicken down there, our boss verbally attacks us (I guess because we didn't invite him).

Oh yeah, and then we ate the rotten chicken anyway...so far so good! If you need more encouragement, I've got more.

Isn't it a blessing to read that? When I tallied it up, I think he may have me beat, because eating rotten meat is far worse than chucking a dead mouse into the garbage. God knew what He was doing when He paired us together. On a bad day, Seth still makes me laugh.

And, by the way, I'm over my rotten attitude. I'm thankful that I've got a cat to kill the mice who sneak into the house, thankful that I have dozens of jars of canned apples, thankful that I have three great kids who actually love math, and thankful that I can trust God with our future.

Christmas Shopping

I'm part of an online support group of families adopting from Ethiopia who are using America World. Recently, there has been a discussion of fundraising efforts. In a moment of complete and utter genius someone mentioned supporting each other. Duh. So I'm going to post a few links here, for those of you planning on doing a bit of early Christmas shopping. If you are expecting a gift FROM me, then you might consider looking at the links and letting me know what your requests might be. That would be my elusive way of telling you that I am going to try and do some of my Christmas shopping online, buying things from these families. We all know that Sam Walton doesn't need me to line the pockets of his decendents, but these dear folks could use our help in getting their adoption accounts up to snuff. So skip the mad rush and shop from the comfort of home; from people who actually NEED the money! There's my sales pitch (not too bad considering...) and here are the links:
Scrapbooking materials from Creative Memories
Handmade soy candles
Ethiopian Adoption T-shirts scroll to the bottom
Ethiopian Adoption T-shirts
Simply Love T-shirts password kiki, click T-shirt link on the left
Hilary's Hope-awesome purses
Fair Trade Coffee check the left side of the blog
Books and bibles scroll to the bottom
Current-paper products

Hope you have fun shopping for a good cause!

Ella's Gotcha Video

I have a confession to make: I started a video for Ella's gotcha day and didn't finish it until last week. Her gotcha day is August 21, home three years!

If you can't see the video visit it here.

Crop for a Cause

It's taken me the entire weekend to recover from Friday night's fundraiser! There were so many people who helped (THANKS!) and so many kind people who came (THANKS!). I think the evening was a success and several ladies came to me hoping that we would do this again. I don't remember my exact reaction as that night passed by in a blur, but I hope that I politely replied in the negative. I think that everyone had a great evening and perhaps were challenged to get involved in the lives of hurting children.



I have to confess though, in the end, the night was more of a blessing to me than probably anyone else there. It was very humbling. I can't thank everyone enough. It took MANY people pitching in to make this work. I am so thankful that so many people were willing to do various jobs and so many people were willing to come (especially those who don't even scrapbook and just wanted to come to be supportive).



So the grand total--we brought home around $400! I am very happy with this (as I'd rather organize an evening like this than sit in my driveway having a yard sale) and so thankful to the people who helped and attended. Here's the one picture I have to post (since the other is an upclose shot of a dear friend eating and she would probably not talk to me anymore if I posted it online).







Also, in the fundraising realm...The Waals have been a blessing to us lately as they have spoken in several churches about their adoption. When the first group asked how they could help Tracy mentioned our adoption and they took up a love offering for us. They have given us several hundred dollars--we need to get them on some kind of speaking circuit! Thanks, guys!

AWAA's Transition Home

Our agency just opened a new transitional home! Last week, they transferred the 13 children who have been referred to families from Kid's Care, the orphanage they were in, to America World's privately run, newly opened, home. This is where each our children will live as they wait between the time of referral and our arrival. With the news of the home opening, came news that there are needs at the home that WE CAN MEET. I think it's very cool to be able to have a hand in the care that my child will receive before we even meet face to face. There are many ways YOU can get involved, too! AWAA is sending a staff member to Ethiopia to bring supplies and check things out before she permanantly moves to Ethiopia in January. She is going to be able to bring donations (monetary and otherwise) with her. A fellow adoptive mom has a very cool thing going on, if you are willing to donate money via paypal--she's making things come together to get the cash to Ethiopia. Go and make a donation and read about the amazing project here.

OR--if you live close to me or have a way of getting donations to me, then email me for a list of what the home needs. If you are really quick about gathering things, we can get them to the agency before the rep leaves for Ethiopia in a week. Otherwise, I'll be prepared to bring donations when we travel.

My mind is flying faster than I can keep up with it right now. I'm a crazed lunatic trying to get everything to come together for the fundraiser tomorrow night. I am excited about the evening, but don't want it to be ruined because I didn't prepare well enough. This information about the transitional home will be a great opportunity to share with all the women there, too. As I'm collecting opportunities to share with them, I'm realizing how many ways we can be involved in our town, state, country, and world! I'm sure you will all be eagerly awaiting a post Saturday to hear how it went (though reading about it certainly won't be as good as attending!).

Meanwhile, get busy making a difference in the world around you!

Happy Veteran's Day

Take some time today and thank a veteran for their service to our country! I'm very proud of my family members who have served (or are serving) in the military--including the cutie pictured above. Thanks to all of you, related to me or not!

Cut to the core

I just stumbled onto this post by fellow adoptive mom, Heidi. She and her son visited Ethiopia in June with Visiting Orphans, a group from our agency. That trip changed their plans for adoption, they met a group of older siblings and decided to adopt them. She posted yesterday about the grim reality of adoption. As I read I found myself nodding in agreement and shaking my head at the sad state of empathy that we in America enjoy. It's the same feeling I had when I finished reading "There is No Me Without You."


Heidi used this analogy to describe what is happening in America:
Imagine a building with many windows and one door. Inside that building are orphans of every race, suffering in every color, pain of every degree. You KNOW what is in there. Now imagine that every day thousands of people walk right past that building. Some are too focused on their own lives to even take a peek in the windows. Some take a peek, can't bear the pain that the sight brings to surface in their own hearts, and then shield their eyes and continue on their way. Some peer inside, shed some tears, and feel a bit of compassion for the ones suffering. Then some, a few, actually step inside the building.

They engage with the hurting souls. They look into the eyes of these children and mothers and fathers and see their own. Their own flesh and blood. And then they do something about it.

Because, once you have engaged with the suffering, you can't NOT do something. You can't go back to your suburban American capitalistic dream and thank the Good Lord for blessing you with your comforts, food, wealth, and health. You can't do it. You shudder and realize, Woe to me for not seeing this suffering before. For not seeing these souls as my own. For not doing unto others as we would have done unto us. As we would want done unto our own white children.

Go read the rest of her post, it will make your heart cry. And hopefully, it will challenge you to engage the suffering souls all over the world.

mini-WWF

Every once in a while a wrestle-fest breaks out in our house. For obvious reasons it is RARELY allowed outside of the house. Mainly because we like to leave our house and if our kids broke out into a wrestling contest anytime they wanted to...well, we wouldn't be invited back. Not to say they haven't tried wrestling anywhere and everywhere...church foyer, grocery store, JoAnn fabrics, parking lots, baseball fields, living room of close friend who has immaculate home...you get the picture. Most of the time rolling around with a sib is a great time (until it goes too far and someone gets scratched in the eyes), and this is definitely a condoned activity for carpeted areas of our home. BUT, last night we watched them indulge in some good, hard wrestling at our friends' house. Today, Tracy posted this video on his blog, it's too funny. It will give you a glimpse into what part of my day is like, enjoy!

Calling all croppers

Neither Seth nor I are salespeople. Especially selling something that someone doesn't absolutely, positively need. Because, honestly, we couldn't even sell ice water to a parched nomad.

This doesn't bode well for a couple who are heading down the 'fundraising' trail. After running through many brilliant fundraising ideas-I realized they all revolve around selling a product--my old junk (ie. yard sale), cookbooks, coffee, candles, T-shirts, home decor, spaghetti, pancakes. Then I thought about scrapbooking. When I talked to Seth about hosting a crop, he laughed out loud and said, "I don't get it, so ladies bring their own stuff and sit there all night scrapbooking and they pay to do it? They don't get anything, what are they paying for?"

I don't have a good answer really. Which goes back to my being a poor salesperson.

I had to change my focus a little bit to force myself to come out of my unconvincing sales position. I have to see our adoption as something bigger than our family. Needing funds for our adoption is only part of the reason for the crop, the other focus is the plight of children all over the world. Seeing "real" people adopting, seeing "real" children without families, makes the community realize this isn't Hollywood. There are real people behind the stories, and hopefully, this night will allow some of these ladies to see adoption as a reality. If one gal hears my story and picks up a brochure from AHOPE or America World and makes a difference in a child's life, that will be the ripple that makes the treacherous part of "selling" worthwhile.

I hope that in sharing what God has done for us, I can encourage those who have been hesitant to be courageous by stepping out in faith, in whatever God may be calling them to do. I guess, last of all, I can bring home some money for our adoption! I feel much more comfortable with the idea of fundraising when I look beyond my needs and think about the bigger picture. If only 5 ladies show up, the change in my adoption account won't be obvious, but if two of those ladies are encouraged to become involved in foster care, or support an HIV+ child every month...that will be making a difference with far reaching results.

With that said, if you live in my area, and are free November 16, take some time to gather up your pictures and spend an evening with friends scrapbooking!

She lives

This is a kitty update...a week ago our cat, Lucy, met me in the hallway as I was waking up. I thought it odd, because it had been weeks since she had voluntarily done anything. In her effort to die she had deemed a corner under Everett's bed as the best place to leave this world. She was unwilling to move (unless I hauled her out by the scruff of her neck to mercilessly cram a syringe down her throat), so it was unusual for her to be out and about. I carried her downstairs with me and plopped some food infront of her, the whole time pleading with her to just "stinkin' eat it so I can stop feeding you by hand." And, miracle of miracles, she ate the food! I didn't start jumping up and down right away, because eating on her own doesn't mean she's completely out of the woods. So I waited for a few days before sharing my jubilation with the children. Now, she has resumed all of her bygone activities--including waking me up in the wee hours of the morning and trying to sneak outside when a child is slow with shutting the door. I'm thinking this must mean full recovery. But the question still begs to be answered, what was wrong with her anyway?

After that vet bill, she's the most expensive thing we own (excluding cars, the living room furniture is a close second). Pretty sickening, glad she's still alive to be our mouser--though I'm not sure being mouse free is worth $800.