Nothing but Trouble

Josiah is three. He's unbelievably adorable most of the time. Today, he sat down in front of me and told me this story. It was so strange that I had to immediately get it down.

"Once upon a time there was me. (So sweet.)

And a big bad wolf, but I was safe from the big bad wolf in my brick house. (The drama.)

But, there was a hole. (Oh, no!)

And it was too tiny for the wolf. (Sigh.)

So, I was really, really safe. The end."

It's the sweet cute times that enable the rest of the family to put of with his scandals. He cooks up schemes that only a three year old could execute. When he gets found out (because who else, may I ask, would dump a brand new bottle of body wash all over the tub?), he smiles, smirks, and rubs his chubby hands on my face. All is forgiven.

Last night, he told me he threw his banana down the tuba. Just, oh so matter of factly. As if we regularly dispose of trash in musical instruments. I laughed and then realized he's being completely serious. Everyone within earshot looked around for a clue about the 'tuba'. Then, I realized that he means the sousaphone that hangs out on the upstairs landing. Seth and Josiah ran upstairs and emptied the sousaphone of a brown banana peel, Buzz Lightyear figure, and many other long, lost toys. Evidently, Sir Cuteness has been dumping in the 'tuba' for quite a while.

On Wednesday, he began an obsession with urinating in public. It started with peeing on the deck at a friend's house. That night he was in front of the church we used to attend, which is located on the interstate. I was visited with ladies I haven't seen in ages, and the kids were all frolicking in front of the church sign. Except that one little boy...he's...PULLING DOWN HIS PANTS! Everett, thankfully, grabbed him, but the stream had already let loose and Everett's pants were sprayed in the ensuing battle. Both boys ended up urine soaked. Today, he revealed himself to the entire homeschool co-op at the park.

He's cute, even with his pants down. "Mommy, can I get a little push, please?"

Dinner!

Eli balking at my lentil soup for dinner tonight, "Doesn't look too good."

Sally was surprised because she becomes a ravenous wolf when I start dinner prep and EVERYTHING looks good to her. She chirps, "Eli, it looks just like baked beans!"

The baked bean lover's sad reply. "Don't be fooled, Sally. It isn't."

**********************************************************

Upon discovering I have made a pasta dish, Josiah begins his usual rant, "I don't eat pasta. Girls eat pasta and scream like this, 'Ehhhhhhh!' Boys scream like this, 'Roooooaaaaarrrr!' Boys eat chicken. I. Am. A. Boy."

Obsession

Ella is constantly capturing small
animalscreatures in the backyard and turning them into pets. Pill bugs, caterpillars (that were eating my roses), and most recently slugs. At Christmas, I bought a butterfly habitat. Incidentally, that was kind of funny. Seth and I were shopping at the Toys-U-Don't Need. I had a list of things the kids thought they might need. I also had a list of things I thought they might need, ie. educational stuff. Like a super cool butterfly habitat. Surprisingly there weren't any on the shelf. Disbelief--but figured I'd order it online for a higher price. Later, Seth saw a man holding one and approached him just as the guy said to his buddy, "Butterfly Habitat, who would want something dumb like that?" Thankfully he put it down and my brave hubby snagged it.

So...we've been eagerly waiting for the right time to order caterpillars. We ordered. They came. Not so thrilling. Little black caterpillars. In a plastic container. Sort of like what Ella does in the backyard everyday. Except I paid for this tub. They ate the gooey food in their container. We waited. Then one day we looked in and they were all suspended from the top. Soon we got to see our first chrysalis.Little more waiting and one butterfly emerged. It was truly very neat. Even for the not-nerdy bunch. This butterfly in the house thing was a dream come true for Ella. Oddly, she's terrified if they fly near her, but in the mesh cage. Heavenly.

Let the obsession begin. Day after day of butterfly viewing. Special chair pulled up to the habitat. Oh, the antics of those butterflies. Endless entertainment!

All good things must come to an end. In butterfly habitat world that would be Release Day.
One by one, all of the butterflies flitted away except one little guy. To Ella's delight we kept him, named him "Flyey" and gave him some more time in the miracle butterfly habitat. A few days later, after having the nectar buffet all to himself, Flyey made his way out into the wild, dangerous world known as Our Backyard.

On God and Panties

Sometimes Sally dips into Ella's drawers and borrows her clothes. Ella isn't much of a diva and doesn't mind. She would probably prefer wearing the same outfit day in and day out while allowing Sally to forage through all the rest of her wardrobe. Except in the case of panties. Sally has always snatched a pair here or there. It doesn't matter that I've labeled undergarments with "S" and "E". It doesn't matter that we've discussed panties not really being something you borrow from your sister. There is a difference between a t-shirt and a pair of panties.

Really, are we even having this discussion?

The girls and I put away their clothes before bath time and Sally's 'unders' drawer was busting full. As I finished tidying the girls took their things into the bathroom. I could hear the ensuing discussion, "Sal, you have lots of panties. You don't have to borrow mine. You know, God sees you all of the time."

A pause for effect.

"Sally, God knows about the panties."

Sally responds with absolute pity as if Ella is has no clue what she's saying, "Ellaaaaa, God does NOT wear panties." Deep sigh.

This is what most people call

a serious case of bed head.

Unless you are Everett (or Robert Smith). When he saw his hair today, he said, "This is what you call a good hair day."

He's completely serious. He tries to make his hair look like this...on purpose! So he's loving that today he did nothing, just woke up and "voila!" hair already mangled crafted to perfection. What's a mom to do?

And, yes, he is wearing a fur vest. I won't even go there.