May 18, 2011

Nothing but Trouble

Josiah is three. He's unbelievably adorable most of the time. Today, he sat down in front of me and told me this story. It was so strange that I had to immediately get it down.

"Once upon a time there was me. (So sweet.)

And a big bad wolf, but I was safe from the big bad wolf in my brick house. (The drama.)

But, there was a hole. (Oh, no!)

And it was too tiny for the wolf. (Sigh.)

So, I was really, really safe. The end."

It's the sweet cute times that enable the rest of the family to put of with his scandals. He cooks up schemes that only a three year old could execute. When he gets found out (because who else, may I ask, would dump a brand new bottle of body wash all over the tub?), he smiles, smirks, and rubs his chubby hands on my face. All is forgiven.

Last night, he told me he threw his banana down the tuba. Just, oh so matter of factly. As if we regularly dispose of trash in musical instruments. I laughed and then realized he's being completely serious. Everyone within earshot looked around for a clue about the 'tuba'. Then, I realized that he means the sousaphone that hangs out on the upstairs landing. Seth and Josiah ran upstairs and emptied the sousaphone of a brown banana peel, Buzz Lightyear figure, and many other long, lost toys. Evidently, Sir Cuteness has been dumping in the 'tuba' for quite a while.

On Wednesday, he began an obsession with urinating in public. It started with peeing on the deck at a friend's house. That night he was in front of the church we used to attend, which is located on the interstate. I was visited with ladies I haven't seen in ages, and the kids were all frolicking in front of the church sign. Except that one little boy...he's...PULLING DOWN HIS PANTS! Everett, thankfully, grabbed him, but the stream had already let loose and Everett's pants were sprayed in the ensuing battle. Both boys ended up urine soaked. Today, he revealed himself to the entire homeschool co-op at the park.

He's cute, even with his pants down. "Mommy, can I get a little push, please?"


Haddock said...

That was the cutest and the shortest story ever. Publishers are not going to be happy.
But just imagine if you had something like 100 stories like tehse, I am sure all publishers would flock at your doorstep :-)

kristie said...

What is it with boys and urinating outdoors?! John was terrified the first time he did it, and he only did it because I made him (the only other option was the porto potty, and I refuse.) Now, he goes every chance he gets. Steven said its a guy thing. Apparently.

tiptoeapple said...


we have lots of trees. come over.

Becky said...

Following in his mother's footsteps - the author part, not the urinating part.

Carpenters said...

Ah, he and my Josiah would get along so well. Although mayhem would ensue.

Rob and Candy said...

too funny! Henry would have a blast with Josiah.... Henry also hides things in the oddest places and he loves to (ummm..) pee outside.