May 18, 2011

Nothing but Trouble

Josiah is three. He's unbelievably adorable most of the time. Today, he sat down in front of me and told me this story. It was so strange that I had to immediately get it down.

"Once upon a time there was me. (So sweet.)

And a big bad wolf, but I was safe from the big bad wolf in my brick house. (The drama.)

But, there was a hole. (Oh, no!)

And it was too tiny for the wolf. (Sigh.)

So, I was really, really safe. The end."

It's the sweet cute times that enable the rest of the family to put of with his scandals. He cooks up schemes that only a three year old could execute. When he gets found out (because who else, may I ask, would dump a brand new bottle of body wash all over the tub?), he smiles, smirks, and rubs his chubby hands on my face. All is forgiven.

Last night, he told me he threw his banana down the tuba. Just, oh so matter of factly. As if we regularly dispose of trash in musical instruments. I laughed and then realized he's being completely serious. Everyone within earshot looked around for a clue about the 'tuba'. Then, I realized that he means the sousaphone that hangs out on the upstairs landing. Seth and Josiah ran upstairs and emptied the sousaphone of a brown banana peel, Buzz Lightyear figure, and many other long, lost toys. Evidently, Sir Cuteness has been dumping in the 'tuba' for quite a while.

On Wednesday, he began an obsession with urinating in public. It started with peeing on the deck at a friend's house. That night he was in front of the church we used to attend, which is located on the interstate. I was visited with ladies I haven't seen in ages, and the kids were all frolicking in front of the church sign. Except that one little boy...he's...PULLING DOWN HIS PANTS! Everett, thankfully, grabbed him, but the stream had already let loose and Everett's pants were sprayed in the ensuing battle. Both boys ended up urine soaked. Today, he revealed himself to the entire homeschool co-op at the park.

He's cute, even with his pants down. "Mommy, can I get a little push, please?"

May 14, 2011

Super Glue

We ran out of glue during the frenzied science fair preparations. Normally, this wouldn't cause concern, but Everett was mid owl pellet dissection. He let go of one deep sigh and little rodent bones scattered all over the table. He decided to glue them down before Manny investigated the smells and ate Everett's project. I checked the art closet in the school room and couldn't find any glue. So, I did the obvious thing and googled 'homemade glue'.


I put the concoction in a Tupperware and we used it several times for project boards. I continued to pat myself on the back for this incredible little discovery. Gone are the days of squeezing Elmer's until I was red in the face. Gone are the days of unscrewing lids and using Q-tips to fish dabs of glue out. It was easy to make, easy to apply with a paint brush, and cheap.

Fast forward a few months.

Weird smells are in the hallway. The bathroom, our bedroom, and the schoolroom all meet at this little hall. Our obvious choice for weird smells was the bathroom, but nothing out of the ordinary was wafting from there. I crawled around on the floor sniffing, but couldn't find a spot that reeked. It was at nose level, just in the hall. I finally opened the art closet door and the smell nearly knocked me off my feet. After sifting through several stacks of clearance art pads, paint tubs, and pipe cleaners, I found the culprit.

The Tupperware of 'glue' had burped.

Seth and I had a good laugh and chucked the glue. That night, in bed, we kept smelling that stench. I finally gave up and pulled the entire storage piece out of the closet to find dripping slime pooling on unused bottle of Elmer's. It had fallen behind the rolling organizational bin--forgotten and covered with slime. We found ourselves pulling the contents of the closet out and sorting through things that were goo covered. At midnight. Seth gave me a second "Did you learn a lesson?" and we both thought it was over.

The next day Seth said he thought he smelled 'sourdough' in the basement. When I emptied the laundry chute in the basement I noticed the stench was lingering. I slowly looked up and noticed a dried white substance on the area that would be right below that closet. It was dry, and I knew I had cleaned up the source, so I laughed and shook my head as I started to pick up a stray towel and realized it was GLUED to the basement floor.

That homemade glue is something else.

May 4, 2011

Freezer Meals With Help

Occasionally I lose my mind. When I regain my sanity I find myself in the middle of chaos wondering why this ever seemed like a good idea. One Saturday morning I found myself in the kitchen, the lone adult, with five children preparing freezer meals for a month.

It seemed like a great family day. Everyone bustling around working together cooking. I talked it up for a few days and figured if we could survive the grocery trips required to provide for this project, then we could survive the actual cooking. Our first casualty was the adult pictured in the background below, as he frantically searches the internet regarding an emergency car repair that he sacrificially determined to do instead of cooking. That Pancake Flipper sure is doing a great job though!Eli was making loads and loads of mini-pancakes. Everett was peeling potatoes (with a begging pooch at his side). Josiah was peeled potato deliverer. Ella and Sally were choppers. Though it sounds so wasn't. The second and third casualties were Ella and Josiah. Sally may look like the wild one, but Ella's knife was confiscated when the potato delivery boy tried to snatch her knife and take over her job. Her response to his attack was a knife swinging ninja move that ended with both kids sitting on stools in the kitchen watching me stir soup. Everett was in the middle of a riveting novel, and he disappeared immediately after peeling his last potato. As usual, Sally and Elijah were the last two to be standing.

It was a ton of work, but the concept is magnificent. Endure a wild cooking frenzy for a weekend (one day wasn't enough time) and eat for a month. If this madness appeals to you, these ladies have some great plans and explanations of what they do to make freezer meals work for them.

Money Saving Mom (She even has free planning worksheets.)
Life As Mom

My sister found recipes and a master grocery list that she forwarded onto me. We didn't cook together, but did cook around the same time. It probably would have been fun to send the children off with hubbys (as long as car repairs aren't imminent) and spend the day cooking together. There I go again losing my mind.