Total randomness

The past two weeks have been busy with our agency. Our in country representative has been running around trying to get court scheduled for five families that have been waiting since mid-October. In all of his rush to do that, he's still managed to get paperwork done for 5 referrals. Wednesday, two families (go see pictures of one baby) had successful court appointments and today the five families who have been waiting finally have court. We've been praying that all five families would have a successful ruling and travel arrangements are made soon. They will hear this afternoon about court. You can check two of their blogs if you'd like: Steigers, and Treadwells as they will be able to post pictures of their kids after they are legally theirs.

We are....still.....waiting....and I am getting a tired of it. Can I say that? It just hit me hard today.

It's been nearly 9 months, so I'm trying to remember that this is how long the wait is when you are pregnant. Certainly we can wait 9 months for our kids. BUT, we have been *in process* since 2006. Almost two years ago we decided to adopt again! So, really, we are birthing an elephant. I'm ready to POP. It doesn't help that all other areas of my life seem in a state of flux.

Seth drives an hour to the Big City everyday for work. He makes the most of his time, but it's still an hour to work. Then an hour home. Then if it snows, well...you get the picture. We don't really want to move up there, but off and on we talk about it. Yesterday, he sent me a link detailing 2 years of road work that will probably add another hour to his commute. That would make his commute beyond ridiculous. So we made a list. We both love lists. Somehow you can feel like you accomplished something when you make a list. Even though nothing has really been done. This list has been made many times before. It's the "What we need to finish so we can sell our house" list. And it's long...and depressing. And we never do anything on it.

Today, Ella has an MRI scheduled at noon. Just to see what's happening in her noggin. The great mystery won't be solved by an MRI, but perhaps we can feel better knowing we now have pictures of her brain. I teased her that we may find out she's missing part of her brain. Eli is quite intrigued with the idea of taking pictures inside Ella's head. Last night, in a very concerned tone, he asked me if they would stick a camera up her nose. Though I explained in detail how it would all happen, I guess he zoned out at my first words, "Ella has to go to the hospital so they can take some pictures of her brain."

I can only imagine what's he's been cooking up for the past week. Ella seems clueless, though she was concerned about not getting any breakfast this morning. I'm also concerned. How do you hold off feeding a kid who's first words every morning are, "We eatin' cereal, Mommy?"

I spent a lot of time praying about that, because eating breakfast is a big deal to this little girl. I also prayed a lot about how things are going to go down at the hospital. When Ella had her past surgeries, she was two. They gave her a stuffed dog and she went off with the anesthesiologist. The second time she got a tea set (huh?). Now she's older and wiser. She pitches a fit when she has to leave the waiting area to have her weight taken. Don't even think about getting her blood pressure, as that will throw her into a fit of hysteria. So I covet your prayers this afternoon. That she won't be scared and that the MRI will come back with good results.

Snow Day

This morning I really thought that today we would get the call. We had been anticipating a snow storm for days. It finally hit early this morning. Seth got a call at 5 am (as he was walking out the door) telling him that he had the day off. As he was stripping his coat off, telling me the good news, my first thought was, "Today would be a great day to get the call."




Alas, it didn't come. But we enjoyed a snow day anyway.

Eli recovering from daddy's snowball.

Everett trying to avoid daddy's snowball.

Daddy relentlessly pummelling his children with snowballs. And enjoying it.

Though it may seem like our referral consumes me, it really doesn't. My heart jumps a few times during the day-especially when the phone rings. Otherwise, I'm so busy with living my life that waiting for our referral doesn't cripple me. I think about our kids that aren't with us. A lot. I don't think about them in a sad, wonder-if-they-are-hungry, sort of way. I can't do anything but pray. So, I pray that God provides for their needs and that their paperwork will fall into the right hands. I pray that their first family has peace in whatever situation they are in. I pray that the kids who are here in our house right now don't have a hard time when we bring our other kiddos home.

Then, I think about what it will be like when they finally get here. I relish a few moments of bliss. Because I know (remember, I've been there before) that bringing a child into your home isn't always happy moments. There are trials and terse times, but for now I can totally just spend this time dreaming about holding two more kids. Squeezing two more little bodies onto the sofa at night as we read. Pulling more chairs up to the table for meals. Watching two more little fish at the pool. Blowing two more sets of kisses as I whisper, "Goodnight, I love you."

I'm Back

My kids and I just returned from a week long trip to visit my sisters (we flew on skybus and I would suggest if you can swing it to use them, I got $20 tickets!). I arrived home to a message from my aunt requesting an update on my blog. She's frantic about a phone call she heard about from my grandma who heard about it from my mom who heard about it from me. Why do I bother blogging when the grapevine works so well?

To appease my aunt, who is probably my most diligent reader, I will have to update on this mysterious phone call. First, I want to post links to two families' blogs who are in Ethiopia right now picking up their babies. The pictures are fabulous and the video is great and I soooo wish that Seth and I were there with them picking up our kids, but first we need a referral! Go check out the Carpenter's and the David's journeys!

So back to the phone call...
I was at the library and couldn't answer my cell phone. When I checked the message it was a Virginia number and my heart jumped. Then I thought, "Nah, calm down it's probably nothing."

So I called Duni back, but she was gone. Her message stated that she had a quick question for me. I was kicking myself for not getting the phone; and wondering what "quick question" meant. That wouldn't be what she said if she had our referral, right?

When she finally called back I was in the van with the kids (plus extra baby). Before I answered I told the kids to "SHUSH, This could be important about the babies!!!" (say that fast, loud, and filled with drama and you will get the idea). Evidently, that worked because they sat silently listening to my end of the conversation--no arm flapping for silence needed.

The quick chat went something like this:
"Apryl, I got a call from Ethiopia yesterday. We know you requested a boy under 12 months and a girl under 3 years old. They were wondering if you would be open to adopting a 4 year old girl."

"Of course," Me, dumbfounded, cannot speak, cannot even think straight.

"Okay, great, have a nice day."

I grunt a reply and hang up. Pretty eloquent. Pretty thrilling.

Then I sat and nearly cried. I don't know why I almost cried, maybe because I'm a dufus or maybe because one day in the near future I'm going to hear the names and ages of my children. This is finally happening, folks! We are inching along, but this is progress. Sort of.

When Seth finally returned my frantic call, he shot questions at me left and right. And I had no answers, because, well, see above conversation. By the time I spoke to him I had determined that Duni was calling just in case--you know, hypothetical. Then I got to my sister's house. Imagine the torment there--two sisters plus my mom--"Well, what did that mean? You need to call her back. She won't care." They drove me crazy until I emailed Duni about the call. She emailed back saying, "In reference to your question; yes, we do have potential children but please know that there is a lot of process taking place behind the scenes before we can refer children. We are required by law to have all the medical and social history of a child before we inform prospective adoptive parents. All I can tell you and your family is to rest assured that we are actively processing your case. But as for time frame…we are working to have you complete the adoption and travel by early spring."

Now, I'm pretty pumped about that response. I won't hold her to the "travel by early spring" part, but just to know something would be great. I'm trying to be patient, carrying the cell phone with me always, possibly peeing my pants everytime it rings. To all you who call me on that phone--stop. Call my house, leave a message--retro, but I assure you that it will work. And I'll have a few less gray hairs.

Tidbits of News

Today a fellow mom spoke extensively with our family coordinator to get the scoop on the wait, referrals, court, the transitional home, and our rep in Ethiopia. She did a comprehensive job of detailing her conversation over at her blog and I won't try to recreate that here. To cram all the information into one blurb:
Our in country representative is now focusing on getting families through court and travelling, he has been busy getting the transitional home up and running, hiring staff for the home, and helpers for him. Once he gets through these next few weeks of work, families successfully make it through court, and travel, then he will be able to focus on referrals.

That is the really, really short of it. I'm saddened by the thought of waiting into March (PLEASE, I don't need a lesson in patience!!) for news of our children, but I feel a smidge relieved knowing that I shouldn't expect the phone to ring in the next month. I can focus on what is swirling around in our family--there is a blizzard going on right now. I can't seem to slow my mind down enough to process any of the "big" news I've gotten recently. When my mind wraps itself around this bit of news and I can find a way to gracefully relay the news that is slowly unfolding within our family; I'll grab a cup of coffee and update on that!

Last Night

Before my kids drift off to visit the Land of Nod; we pray. When they were really little, their prayers consisted of a list of "Thank Yous" rattled off to God. Listening to their prayers is an incredibly sweet way for me to end my day. Now that they are older, I get a glimpse of what is troubling them and what they are excited about. Last night Eli's prayer was so startlingly simple I had to swallow back tears as I kissed him goodnight.

He prayed, "God, I really want to meet my baby brother before Christmas. Amen."

I know...

I know that I have been through this adoption waiting thing before. I know that I had an amazing experience in trusting God. I know that I should be able to trust Him this time too. But, I'm starting to falter.

We haven't been waiting for an extraordinarily long time, merely 4 months. But, I had it all laid out before we even turned in our paperwork. In my plan we were going to have pictures of our kids by this point and planning a trip to Ethiopia in the next few months to bring them home. That is the problem, it's MY plan. When I get bent out of shape because of the wait, I meet someone who has been waiting longer. A gal at swimming lessons is adopting from China, I won't even tell you how long she's been waiting (because then I'd seem really petty). I will say that she started her paperwork over 2 YEARS ago. That was a reality check.

When we wrote our child request, Seth and I were pretty specific, but didn't intend for America World to follow our request in detail. We meant it as a guidline for them, thinking that if they found two children under 3, they would be ours (not worrying about gender or specific ages). We had been wondering if America World knew that we didn't really care if the younger child was a boy or the older a girl. So I called our family coordinator to make sure. I talked to her last week and hung up the phone in a bit of a funk. This is our status: several families are ahead of us in line for siblings. If we would like we could change our request to just one child and move to a different line (a faster line, and be up higher in the line) or keep our request the same and wait...and wait. And possibly wait so long that our paperwork begins to expire. WHAT?! I about fell out when she told me that. Stuff might expire? As in, waiting until next spring, expire? I hung up the phone and just sat there stunned.

Then I went about my motherly duties in a fog. I had a moment to briefly relay the conversation to Seth that evening before he headed out for a class. And, still in a funky fog, I did what all girls do when they need an ear and a bit of advice--called my mom. I told her my options and she did what all good moms would do, smacked me around a bit.

Mom begins, "Apryl, do you remember how God timed it just right for you to get Ella?" Pitiful me, "Mm, hmm."

She continues, "Do you remember WHY you want to have two more children?" Pitiful me, "Yeah..."

And continues to batter me, "What are you going to do if you only get one child?" Sorrowful me, "Probably be racked with guilt when we get to Ethiopia and start paperwork for a second child soon after getting home."

She chastens, "And, Apryl, do you really thinking waiting 4 or 5 more months is going to make a difference in the long run?" Chastised me, "No, not really, but Mom..."

And she puts the last nail in the coffin, "Sounds like you know what you should do Apryl, wait on God."

Ugh, why does she have to be so right?

I should make a disclaimer here, this isn't our agency's fault. They are doing a wonderful job, they told us what the wait times would be, and their main concern is getting the children into homes. So they are unwilling to make an infant wait so that the family requesting an infant and toddler (us) could be referred both. They find the infant a home (with a family requesting only an infant) and the family requesting two kids continues to wait until two children (or siblings) are available at the same time. So, I'm waiting and I'm not being very graceful about it. I'm trying hard to learn from wise people around me and from past experience. I am, evidently, a very slow learner.