April 5, 2010


Sometimes I wonder if family keeps inviting us to events just so they can: be relieved that they no longer have young children, be relieved that they are not planning on having children, be relieved that they are not raising our children, or have a good hearty laugh at the antics that seem to happen when we are around.

Huge holidays cause huge chaos. On Christmas we visited with extended family. We only see them once a year. We vowed not to do the Christmas dinner at their house once our family grew to it's substantial size. This year we all felt brave and ventured to their home for the dinner. It was going well until Eli used the bathroom. He ran out of toilet paper. Unknown to us he found the infamous flushable wipes and "decided to give them a try." Unknown to him you should only use one wipe per flush. After he exited the restroom, Sally went in. In her rushed state she didn't care that the toilet bowl was full and proceeded to...ahem...take care of business. She, too, decided to use the flushable wipes. In true five year old fashion she used as many as possible and then flushed the toilet. A few times.

Seth and I were enjoying adult company in the living room while all of the restroom activities were taking place. We, innocently, thought that the children were calmly doing puzzles in the dining room. A flurry of frantic activity by our host drew our attention to the restroom and we were sadly informed of what was going on.

The ensuing ride home was punctuated by discussions about proper toilet etiquette.
1-Avoid flushable wipes, paper towels, and napkins when using the bathroom.
2- Never flush the toilet more than once.
3- Immediately get an adult (preferably one of a close relation) if the water in the toilet beings to rise.
4- Do not avoid the rising water and pretend nothing is going on in the bathroom. The mess WILL EVENTUALLY be discovered.

I think that will be the last year we are invited over.

This weekend we enjoyed Easter dinner with my parents. The meal was fantastic. The company was enjoyable. Everyone behaved during lunch. It seemed too good to be true. Then, Ella took her new medicine. She held it in her mouth until she retched and spewed vomit across my parent's kitchen walls, bar stools, and floors. If my parents weren't forced to open their door to us, I think that might have been our last meal together.

I'm already dreading Thanksgiving.


Becky said...

Awww - it was just sweet baby puke. You will always be welcome here, even when your 5 have 5 and they have 5 - hmmm 125!!

Mark and Wendy said...

Oh, I hope you're laughing, because I can't help but laugh with you!
We only have 3 kids at the moment (waiting for a referral at the moment!), and already my extended family refers to the gathering place as "The Big Top" whenever we arrive!

Thomas Family said...

Oh.my.goodness. Laughing so hard. We have seven kids now and let's just say we have the gatherings at our house pretty much all the time these days. It takes a brave, brave soul to invite us to dinner. They're well behaved too. Really.

Fantastic4mama said...

stop it! Dan and I are laughing so hard we are crying!! I am doing the toilet talk tomorrow! k

Susan said...

The toilet clog really wasn't that bad! We enjoyed Christmas and you are invited back anytime you can make it ... but we'll put away the wipes.