If you ever have reason to remove vaseline from hair--rubbing cornstarch on the affected areas works great. I know this from experience. Don't shampoo first, though that would be the logical choice, it only turns the vasoline into non-removable paste. Cornstarch seems like an unlikely candidate, and you may doubt my advice as you scour the vasoline covered hair, but trust me. It's brilliant.
For vasoline covered ears, ear canals, etc--probably should proceed with much caution and not use the aforementioned solution.
Vasoline removal from walls, toiletry items that have gone down the laundry chute, and clothing? Haven't figured that out.
I think he's out to ruin me.