Dying Cats and other Expensive Endeavors

Seth went out of town this weekend for work. We had planned to go with him, because-why not? Then I remembered that we couldn't go with him. Because of my cat. I have to force feed her every two hours. Because...well, I am not really sure. Either she wants to die by starvation or wants to live but doesn't feel like eating. Either way its a long story and I have some time on my hands (seeing as I'm not in the Big City visiting my husband) so I'll start with the most logical beginning--the day my microwave broke.


One morning my microwave started making a weird noise. When I opened the door it sort of growled at me. Strange as it was for the microwave to growl, I decided I'd put my cold coffee in anyway (maybe it growled because I was waking it up early, maybe I needed to drink some coffee so I wouldn't be imagining a growling microwave--either way it seemed a good idea to me). When I turned on the microwave it started buzzing and growling. Even in my early-morning-drinking-cold-coffee-state I recognized that this could be hazardous. So I unplugged the microwave. Then waited and when Seth came home I tried it out with him. He immediately clutched his chest and started wailing, jokester--he had me going for a millisecond. So we threw the microwave in the trashcan. We priced microwaves but thought that we should probably put the money into our adoption account. Then...

The next week we went on vacation (which explains how we got along without the microwave for so long). See previous posts on Moby and ditching our "old" van in Alabama to get the picture on that ridiculous story. We incurred a car loan and bills from nights in a hotel, eating out, and buying a new van but saved money by dumping the old van instead of fixing it. Then...


The week after we got home Seth had a dental appointment. He had to have some dental work done. This is never good news, especially to Seth because he's only ever had one cavity. They didn't have to use novicane on that one little cavity. They had to use novicane this time, and it didn't work. He was in pain and the bill was high. Then...


Ella has speech therapy twice a week. It's a good deal, but our insurance doesn't cover a tiddle of it. We get billed by semester and the next week I got the bill. Was expecting it sometime, but the timing....well, not so good. Now, I get to the cat...

The next week I noticed our cat was acting strange. She's a peppy 3-year-old, but was lethargic and seemed to be skinnier. So I called the vet and brought her in. Not good news, she had lost four pounds (she was quite a big cat, but not that big) and they would need to keep her overnight to figure out what was happening. Four days later, and by my estimates not any better, the vet told me the prognosis was not good. They were force feeding her, had run tests on her and couldn't figure it out. But basically, she was dying. So would I like to have an ultrasound done, because they may be able to see something wrong with her gall bladder and perhaps perform surgery to remedy this? I asked them what our expenses were this far. And you won't believe what they said. Make a guess...I'll give you a second, because this will really blow your socks off...$713 for four nights, an IV, and some bloodwork.

And my cat was still sick and they had no idea why. So I said I'd be there to pick her up. But in the 15 minutes that it took for me to get there; I somehow accrued another $80 of debt and the scorn of everyone working there--since I was essentially taking the cat to die. I tried to redeem myself by explaining that I worked at a vet's office for years in high school and college (when the prices were evidently MUCH lower and ethic standards higher). My cat looked horrible, and I had to sit in my kitchen floor and just cry. Partly because the cat was dying and partly because I just shelled out $800 for them to tell me that.

Then I dried my tears and asked myself what God was trying to teach us from this. Within a few weeks we had paid out over $1000 dollars in bizarro expenses. It clicked for me right then that we are now in a position to completely trust God for our money. We had been in a "trusting" place--trusting the excess of Seth's salary (along with being thrifty) and a few "gifts from God" to give us the $25,000+ that we would need. I finally saw that we weren't really trusting Him as much as we should have. We are better off financially now than we were 3 years ago when we adopted Ella. We had yard sales, got second jobs, and sold fundraiser cookbooks to scrape together the money. It would NOT have been possible to have made it without God's blessing. And the people we met, the story we told...it was amazing. One couple who heard our adoption story and the financial aspects of it, came to us after we spoke at church and said, "We've always wanted to adopt but thought we never could. We just don't make enough money." Now there is a baby in Alabama with a family because they saw our faith and decided that they could step out in faith too.

How much faith does it take to watch that paycheck roll in every month? And what kind of amazing story of provision will we tell? "God gave Seth a good job, we saved our money." I'm thankful for that, but what does that do for the people who have good jobs, but don't have that little bit extra to tuck away? It isn't very encouraging for them, but now we have joined their ranks. How excited I am to see God work this out and then to share the story. I'm not expecting our savings account to miraculously show deposits, but I am praying that God will bless our efforts. Does this mean pancake breakfasts and selling crafty things? I don't know, but I do expect that there will be a double blessing--we get to share the wonder of adoption with people as we work to build up our adoption fund.

And all of that because of a broken microwave and sick cat. Speaking of, I think it's about time to feed her--she's overcoming the odds and still alive, by the way.

Referrals, Referrals and more Referrals--not ours though!

Yesterday five more familes got calls from America World. It was exciting to read posts this morning. I was a smidgen sad though, because I'm still waiting. You may notice the ticker (that I hate and should remove because it mocks me) says that we have been waiting just shy of five months. I'm happy for the families (10 in all) that got referrals this month, but just barely a smidge sad because the reality is finally hitting home. These are the families with whom we paperchased, watched dossiers fly to Ethiopia, and waited. They are planning for their children and we are waiting.

We will be waiting for a while.

There I typed it...even as I clicked the period I had a thought of "What do I know, we could get a call in a month--why am I typing that? But then we could still be waiting until March." So maybe I should write:

Will we be waiting for a while?

I'm going to drive myself bonkers! Well, at least I'll be blissfully bonkers as I watch my internet-America World-Ethiopian adoption buddies getting courts dates and travelling. Congratulations to all of those who got referrals! You can watch them too here and here.

Shameless Plug for My Sister...

My dear baby sister is an not-so-starving artist. A wonderfully gifted, but lacking work, artist. She recently joined a crew of ladies who get together to encourage each other to use their artist talents. She was prompted to make herself available to people far and wide via...the internet, of course. My question is, What took you so stinkin' long?

So, ever the fabulous, encouraging, big sis I decided to link her blog and portraits right here to give her a little boost. Go visit her sites and tell her how fantastic she is and order something from her (then tell her that she needs to charge more and give me a percentage of sales for my marketing skills).

I'm not all self-less though, she NEEDS to do a portrait of Ella for me (if you are reading this Danica that would be a hint).

This is an oil painting she did for me years ago for Christmas. Such a cutie!

Last Night

Before my kids drift off to visit the Land of Nod; we pray. When they were really little, their prayers consisted of a list of "Thank Yous" rattled off to God. Listening to their prayers is an incredibly sweet way for me to end my day. Now that they are older, I get a glimpse of what is troubling them and what they are excited about. Last night Eli's prayer was so startlingly simple I had to swallow back tears as I kissed him goodnight.

He prayed, "God, I really want to meet my baby brother before Christmas. Amen."

I saw what I saw

This video is on just about any Ethiopian adoption blog I've visited recently, so I didn't feel like I needed to post it here. Then I thought about all of you guys (are you out there?) who don't bounce from one blog to another checking into the lives of other adoptive families--in a nutshell my family and friends.

I first encountered Sara Groves after stumbling onto her cd at the library. I enjoyed it, but alas, she was what we were listening to before we abandoned our old van in Alabama. I remember asking Seth (as we furiously chucked things from old van to new van) if he got the cd out of the player. He assured me that he had put it into a bag somewhere. Now, weeks later, with a heavy library fine, I've come to terms with the fact that the Sara cd is in an auctionhouse in the boonies. Maybe she'll be a blessing to the guy who scrubs the interior of the van after he buys it.

I hope this song is an eye-opener. Since we decided to adopt from Ethiopia, I've been realistic about how this trip will affect us. I'm approaching our travel with trepidation, afraid that what we see and who we meet will change our lives forever.

When it rains, it pours...

Our agency had a busy week. Our family has been visiting my parents and grandparents (Happy 80th Birthday, Grandpa!) so I just found out last night about all the referrals that have been given. Before we left, I knew about the Carpenters and the Davids. The Carpenter's news was extra-thrilling because they requested two children. Though they have been waiting for a while, it is encouraging to see them finally get a referral and know that "our line" is moving too. Then I found out about 3 more families that have news of their children. All of these families have every reason to expect to travel before Christmas to get their little ones--which is very exciting. Congratulations to everyone--praying that you get news of court soon and that the referrals continue to come!

I know...

I know that I have been through this adoption waiting thing before. I know that I had an amazing experience in trusting God. I know that I should be able to trust Him this time too. But, I'm starting to falter.

We haven't been waiting for an extraordinarily long time, merely 4 months. But, I had it all laid out before we even turned in our paperwork. In my plan we were going to have pictures of our kids by this point and planning a trip to Ethiopia in the next few months to bring them home. That is the problem, it's MY plan. When I get bent out of shape because of the wait, I meet someone who has been waiting longer. A gal at swimming lessons is adopting from China, I won't even tell you how long she's been waiting (because then I'd seem really petty). I will say that she started her paperwork over 2 YEARS ago. That was a reality check.

When we wrote our child request, Seth and I were pretty specific, but didn't intend for America World to follow our request in detail. We meant it as a guidline for them, thinking that if they found two children under 3, they would be ours (not worrying about gender or specific ages). We had been wondering if America World knew that we didn't really care if the younger child was a boy or the older a girl. So I called our family coordinator to make sure. I talked to her last week and hung up the phone in a bit of a funk. This is our status: several families are ahead of us in line for siblings. If we would like we could change our request to just one child and move to a different line (a faster line, and be up higher in the line) or keep our request the same and wait...and wait. And possibly wait so long that our paperwork begins to expire. WHAT?! I about fell out when she told me that. Stuff might expire? As in, waiting until next spring, expire? I hung up the phone and just sat there stunned.

Then I went about my motherly duties in a fog. I had a moment to briefly relay the conversation to Seth that evening before he headed out for a class. And, still in a funky fog, I did what all girls do when they need an ear and a bit of advice--called my mom. I told her my options and she did what all good moms would do, smacked me around a bit.

Mom begins, "Apryl, do you remember how God timed it just right for you to get Ella?" Pitiful me, "Mm, hmm."

She continues, "Do you remember WHY you want to have two more children?" Pitiful me, "Yeah..."

And continues to batter me, "What are you going to do if you only get one child?" Sorrowful me, "Probably be racked with guilt when we get to Ethiopia and start paperwork for a second child soon after getting home."

She chastens, "And, Apryl, do you really thinking waiting 4 or 5 more months is going to make a difference in the long run?" Chastised me, "No, not really, but Mom..."

And she puts the last nail in the coffin, "Sounds like you know what you should do Apryl, wait on God."

Ugh, why does she have to be so right?

I should make a disclaimer here, this isn't our agency's fault. They are doing a wonderful job, they told us what the wait times would be, and their main concern is getting the children into homes. So they are unwilling to make an infant wait so that the family requesting an infant and toddler (us) could be referred both. They find the infant a home (with a family requesting only an infant) and the family requesting two kids continues to wait until two children (or siblings) are available at the same time. So, I'm waiting and I'm not being very graceful about it. I'm trying hard to learn from wise people around me and from past experience. I am, evidently, a very slow learner.

Parking the Mammoth

Even in a small car I have a hard time parking. So one of my concerns in buying this hulking beast of a van was that I may not be able to park it. My fears were realized at Ella's speech therapy appointment yesterday. The parking situation is unreal at the University--small spaces, loads of cars cruising for spots, students racing to class... In my rush to make it on time I forgot about trying to park The Van and nearly freaked out when I got to the parking lot. I managed to find a spot on my *good* side (the left) and only took three tries to negotiate the space. We piled out, inspected my parking job, and all were pleased to see that, though I was crooked, I was well within the yellow lines. Racing off to therapy I forgot about having to pull the whale OUT of the cramped space.

A hour later I load the kids into Moby and put it in reverse. Immediately I see a man in a MINI-van behind me. I wave him on, knowing that I'm going to take forever to back out. He refuses to move because he wants my spot. Behind him a line of cars is growing. I throw the van into reverse and lightly tap the gas. We inch back as far as I dare go, then I put it into drive and turn the steering wheel. Tap the gas, move a few inches. Reverse, spin the wheel, tap the gas, move an inch. Drive, turn the wheel, tap the gas, move an inch. I'm making some progress but the line of cars is growing, this incessant wheel turning is causing my...forearms...to....burn...and panic is starting to set in. Will I ever get out, will I have to call someone with big rig experience to help me remove this thing from the tiny space I have put it into? I'm the comic relief in the middle of a so-so movie.

Back and forth we go, I really just want to ram the car behind me to give myself some space. Finally, I spin one last time and, with beads of perspiration breaking out across my forehead, I creep forward chanting, "Please, please, please..." hoping not to bump the car next to me. And we are FREE! The kids all chorus and whoop from the rear of the van and I'm elated. Until I remember that Ella has therapy twice a week and we will have to do this again in a few days. I vow to pull the kids to therapy in the wagon until it snows, then I will pull them in a sled, then when I have five children I will strap babies to my body, pull the sled, and still never park that hog at the University again.

Introducing Moby

Sometimes, things just hit you when you least expect it. As we left the beach I was planning what to do when we arrived home, wondering if I had nursery duty the next night at church, all pretty mundane things. Then, two hours into the trip, our van died. Before you picture me in a rusted out 30 year old VW (though that may have brought me home safely), let me say that our van is only 3 years old, so this was unexpected. Thankfully, my sister was caravaning with us for the first three hours of the trip, so she was there to offer much needed wheels and help. The entire scenario was outrageous--we had been in the back country of Alabama, just pulling into a small town (which is a metropolis for the area), just passing an auto parts store when the van stopped working. Seth coasted into a parking space at the store and opened the hood. Immediately the kind man running the store saw we were in need of major assistance and came out to offer his help. His face was pretty grim when he said the awful, hateful, words, "Gotta be yawr transmission."

I was completely flabbergasted, are you kidding me, this van is practically NEW (compared to what we have driven in the past), it shouldn't be breaking down this early, its nuts! Then I was struck by how amazing it is that we were in a town, that we were in front of an auto parts store, and not in the middle of the interstate or (possibly worse) on the side of a two lane country road. In a seemingly bad situation, still a place to thank God for his mercy and watchcare.

Then I looked at Seth and said, "So I guess God has something for us to learn here in Andalusia, Alabama." He smirked and called a tow truck.

With Seth on the cell phone, Crystal and I immediately loaded all 5 kids (her 2 and my 3) off to the McD's conveniently located across the street (did I mention this was a metropolis?). Thankfully there was a playplace outside, unfortunately, it smelled like a recent visitor had lost their happy meal on the slide. But desperate times call for desperate measures. And boy were we desperate--the kids had to use the facilities for business beyond *number 1* and they timed it perfectly so that either Crystal or I were "taking care of business" in the restrooms the whole time we were there. We finally abandoned the McD's for a park a bit down the road. We should have stayed at McD's a bit longer, it was one of those mornings--several of the kids had to christen the park (because, of course, who puts potties around a playground where small children who can't hold it may come to play for hours?).

On the main stretch of road, next door to Taco Bell and McDonald's, we got the LAST room available at the Best Western. Oddly enough, there was some kind of high school rodeo championship in town, and the only hotel in town was booked, except for one lowly smoking double. My parents made a stop for lunch on their way north, and that afternoon everyone took off for home. Leaving us feeling very alone and strange about being stranded in Alabama without a plan for ever getting home.

Saturday night we took a LONG walk to explore the prospect of attending a local church Sunday morning. This turned into serious drama because (little known fact) love-bugs are in season in the South and Ella has a serious bug phobia. I don't use the word "phobia" lightly. She's down-right terrified of anything that closely resembles a bee. All flying insects are bees, she's never been stung by a bee, doesn't know what it feels like, but her imagination has gone into overdrive with this and she expects it to kill her, possibly. I can't figure out an explanation for her frantic screaming whena bug comes near her. We caught these bugs and showed her, killed them and let her touch them, didn't make any difference. As we walked along the sidewalk if anything flying came near us she started shrieking, moaning, wailing, anything aside from swishing her hand in front of her face and saying, "Shoo" as we had instructed her to do. Complete insanity. So we walked down the road, our peace interrupted every few SECONDS by shrill wails of insanity. We found a sign for a church, and Seth scouted out how far it was from the main road so we decided we'd make a visit to them the next day.

That turned out to be the best thing we could have done. Sunday when we showed up at this little building, the 30 or so people there greeted us with warm kindness and...curiousity? When they heard our, "Breaking down in the center of town" story they were concerned for us and continued asking if they could do anything at all. We walked out of church holding keys to the building, a promise of a ride back that evening and phone numbers in case we needed other help. These people were beyond a blessing to us. When we got back that night they gave us snacks, gift cards (since we were living on fast food, the only thing within walking distance), and more phone numbers. They were truly acting as the body of Christ, and when we got back to the hotel that evening I was on the verge of tears because of the love I felt from these people we hardly knew.

Beyond the church body, the pastor was incredible. This church had recently experienced hard times, and were searching for a new pastor. Seth and I were both amazed by the way God was using this young evangelist in a tiny country church. He was an eloquent, intelligent teacher. We had walked into the situation not expecting very much and God put us in our place immediately. I still don't know why we landed in Andalusia. Maybe our family needed some "forced fun" spending time together in close quarters. Maybe we needed to see this little church, or maybe someone there needed to meet us. We may never figure it out, but we saw that the detours in life can be blessings, if we let them.

Back to the title of this LONG story...Moby. Monday morning the town awoke and we rented a car (from the one rental agency in town that just opened a few weeks before our arrival) and called the dealership that had our van. It was going to require about $1500 of repairs and they had two transmission jobs ahead of us. It was probably going to be well over a week before we could pick it up. After much deliberation, possibly some coercing on the part of the dealership owner, we decided to trade our van in on this hulking masterpiece that we have lovingly dubbed "Moby" (Everett wants us to call it Crazy Big Van but we vetoed that one).

But wait! Before I show you a picture, understand that we were thinking about getting something bigger. And as cool as a 9 passenger SUV would be, the 20k more on the price tag wasn't worth the cool factor to me. Practical hubby that he is, Seth wanted one of these from the beginning of our "we may need a bigger car" discussions. See our last vacation post for details on this. But in all honestly, I think Seth bought this van because he thinks it's funny to see me driving it. And to see 3 kids tumble out of a TWELVE passenger van...yep, we bought a 12 Passenger van for the five of us. So here's the newest addition to our family:

And just so you can giggle like Seth does...

On the road again

Last week my family travelled south again. My parents are celebrating their 50th birthdays this year, and my mom surprised my dad with a week at the beach. And then she invited all of the kids to join them. My mom didn’t tell him that we were coming in an effort to keep him from cornering us to extract the details. Too bad that didn’t work--keeping a secret from him is nearly impossible. A few weeks ago he and Seth were outside together talking. After about an hour Seth came rushing into the kitchen yelping, “He’s pumping me for information, I can’t take it!”

He’s stoic and difficult to read, so we may never know whether he figured the whole thing out or not. My mom told a few *white lies* and we think he was surprised to see us (and hopefully happy). We had a fantastic time together. Here’s the week in pictures…


Here’s a picture of our whole family. Yes, my parents have four daughters. I don't know if my dad was a patient man before children, but spending 20 years with five females certainly made him patient. Take notice of all the grandchildren that are boys, it seems the only way we can add girls to our family is by adoption. I guess God is rewarding my dad for his patience by giving him so many rowdy grandsons.



I wish I could write that our trip ended as we expected, leaving Florida and heading back home. It didn’t though, and I’ll leave that for my next post. Ba ba ba bahm, ahhh, a good cliffhanger.

Addendum

Seth read my post and said, "That picture of Everett makes him look like MacGyver. I guess he could maybe be..."

Or maybe not. So as to keep from leading you astray--these are the other (non-Macgyver) faces of Everett...

As a pirate...

As a goofball...

As a big brother...

Everett's SEVEN!

Happy Birthday to Everett! I think I may blink and find him heading off to college! It seems like it was just yesterday when he and I were living the carefree life-- me and a chubby baby lazing our days away. How things change!

Most people have heard the story of the surprise that Everett was to Seth and I. But I'll tell it again, because it's appropriate (and funny for those of you who haven't heard it). When Seth and I were married neither of us wanted kids...ever. Six months into our marriage we went to our Sunday school Christmas party. We were the only childless couple out of the 15 there. Imagine the noise, the squalling, the chaos. Through the din we embarked on a horrid white elephant exchange (in which Seth received a used calender). We were finally relieved to politely excuse ourselves from the torture. I vividly recall walking to the car in the dark and saying, "I am so thankful that we don't have any kids, that was horrible."

I was already expecting our first baby.

I can only imagine the roaring laughter from heaven when those words came out of my mouth! Isn't God grand? I'm beyond thankful that He saw fit to bless us with a wonderful baby boy (who incidentally slept through the night at 3 weeks). Everett has such a unique character, I'm anxious to see the plans God has for him!

And because I couldn't possibly post about Everett without including a picture:

This picture warrants a little explanation. Everett has been asking for a pocket knife for years. I guess when he first asked, seven sounded a long way off. When his seventh birthday approached he reminded us that two years ago we told him that he could have a pocket knife. Seth (recalling his favorite childhood memories) went to the store and bought survival gear for a seven year old and a handy dandy knapsack. Though I'm sure it's called something else. For two days Everett has wanted to do nothing but carry the bag around and "fiddle" with his knife (we finally told him that you don't "fiddle" you "whittle").

His big birthday request was granted, and birthday bliss culminated in taking a hike with his dad. The rest of us sort of tagged along. Eli stated that we must bring along a ladder so that Everett could cut down a tree with his new knife. I snapped many pictures including this one, titled: Embarassing little sister discovers a spider is in her hair.

Later, when I was looking at the pictures, I found this little gem preceding the "spider in the hair one". Should I title it "Big brother sabotaging Mom's photo shoot by placing spider in sister's hair?"


I never get a straight answer on that one, but the photo looks pretty incriminating! Nevertheless, Happy Birthday Everett!

I made it

In keeping with family traditions, I took photos of my kids on their first day of school. Unfortunately it has been raining for two days, so the pictures are kind of soggy. But here they are in all their glory (and totally thrilled with holding the umbrella).

When Everett came downstairs for breakfast this is what he was wearing, complete with the nametag from vacation Bible school. I didn't say anything, but he later informed me that this is his school "uniform" and I need to wash it every night. Yeah, I'll get right on that. To further comment, he's paired a seersucker jacket with plain gray t-shirt and jeans. Quite the fashionista, takes after his dad.

I wouldn't say the day went beautifully, but it...went. And, we are all excited to do it again tomorrow. Everett's statement before bed was, "The second day of school is even better than the first." Let's hope so. I've got to tweak some things, but I really need to focus on these three and just get us into a routine. Then I can deal with adding babies to the crowd in a few months. I kept looking around thinking, "How am I going to manage? What in the world will we do?" Not a good first day attitude. Since it's overwhelming enough. It's hard to step back and realize that I'm homeschooling because we felt like God was calling us to do it. So I know that God is going to take care of us, BUT I don't remember that when I'm up to my knees in questions, pleads, and squabbles. Deep breath.

Honestly, we had a very rewarding day. Ella was fabulous (I was most worried about her), she patiently listened to me, worked hard, and kept herself entertained with quiet activities. We had a great moment during our math lesson (very basic right now), when she was so proud of herself for answering correctly. The problem kid turned out to be Eli, he wanted to "work, work, work" and that doesn't happen with kindergarden. Since he couldn't work, work, work, he bugged, bugged, bugged me. We sat down later and planned out things that he could do ALONE for tomorrow.

One hour....

before school starts. I feel incredibly silly because I only have three students, and they are my kids. AND they are so excited about starting school that Eli said he's going to cry today because of happiness. Could I ask for anything more?

But I'm nervous because this year I have three kids to teach. I feel like if this day and this month don't go well I will have a nervous breakdown wondering if I can manage five children, homeschooling three of them.

Did I mention that my palms are sweating right now?

I feel even sillier because I'm in my robe sipping coffee, have oatmeal baking in the oven (with white chocolate chips in it) waiting for my kids to wake up. I'm the picture of peace--my books are laid out, supplies are purchased and organized. Our school area is pristine (though this only happened last night) and inviting. But I feel so much pressure because I don't know if I can do it. When people ask how I'm going to manage five young children my answer is, "I don't know." I don't know HOW I will do it because I've never done it. And so I've put myself into this place thinking if today goes beautifully, then I'm one step closer to managing my family in 6 months when I add two babies to the clan. It sort of makes sense, right? Or am I completely out of my mind--yeah, yeah, don't answer that.

The more I type the more butterflies I feel, so I better stop now and just promise that I'll post later (if all goes well and the wild children don't tie me up in the basement because school didn't live up to their expectations).

Touring the Eastern Shore

I failed to mention 3 weeks ago that my kids and I were boarding the minivan for an extended trip along the East Coast. For everyone who has emailed or called wondering if we dropped into oblivion--nope, still here. For the rest of you who knew we were gone, but have emailed or called wondering if we have heard anything about our adoption--nope, still haven't. Thankfully, life on the highway passes by fast and from the look of my annoying ticker at the top of the page we've been waiting 3 months. Since I'm recovering from vacation and planning to start school in 4 days, my brain is fried. Here's a look at our past three weeks.

Day 1- We meet our first obstacle, fitting all of this into the van.

Day2-8 No photos because my camera battery stopped charging after the previous photo.

Day 8 Reinforcements meet me at the beach. My sweet hubby gives me a memory card for the video camera, so I can bug everyone by taking photos. Unfortunately, the video ability is null because the humidity messes with the (brand new) camera and it malfunctions everytime I try to video.

Day 12 Ella loses her tooth while in the pool wearing a snorkel mask. I thought she vomited, but thankfully (since we have been down the vomit-in-the-pool road before) it was just a bloody tooth. Double thankfulness that I didn't have to pull it, because it was in that nasty hanging by a thread stage.

Day 14 Cool beach boys.

Day 19-On our way home we drove through the town of Everett, PA (or VA, or WVA, or even MD not sure, we were passing through states pretty quickly). We pulled off for a quick photo which turned into half an hour looking for the town and finally determining that Everett doesn't exist. Seth griped about the photo seeming quaint if he hadn't been involved. We finally just decide to turn around and take a picture next to the exit sign. Good enough!
Still driving, the natives are incredibly restless. At one point I turn around to see Eli playing with a bag of dirty clothes. Naturally, I take a picture.


Nearing the end of the voyage, Seth and I determine that with five children we will no longer fit into our van. Well, WE will fit but our luggage will not. I think we were pretty burned out because we never figured out a solution to that problem. Perhaps Seth thought that this would be the last of our family vacations. I'm thinking we need a 9 seater monster SUV. Unfortunately, he's more the cargo van kind of guy.

Lessons from my five-year-old

Since we brought Ella home I've been praying that God would "restore the years" to her (Joel 2:25). For three years I've been blaming the time that Ella was in an orphanage for all of the "stuff" we deal with. Every pediatrician, therapist, or specialist has to hear my liturgy on what this little girl has dealt with, "Eastern European kids who are institutionalized suffer from…" While I was waiting to see the speech therapist to discuss a recent evaluation, I was watching the kids around me and realized that most of these kids are completely "normal". Ella will probably be one of few (if any) adopted kids that this therapist will see. It finally dawned on me that even if Ella had been born to me, nurtured by me from birth, and given every opportunity possible for the first three years of her life, just maybe, she'd still be having a hard time talking, learning, and understanding. Whoa.

Even though I tell the kids who ask about Ella's limb differences that God made her special for a reason, I don't think I've applied that to all of her. I can accept that he made her physically different from most children, but I haven't thought about giving Him credit for her mind. I've been so busy worrying about "fixing" what the first years have done, that I haven't taken the time to look at ALL of her as God's special creation. Even if she's years behind in language, she's perfectly what He wanted. I can't begin to understand why some children are born with more struggles than others. I do know that God made her with a special purpose, and me trying to "fix" her or make her like everyone else means I'm denying God's sovereignty. I'm making MY plan and my purpose better than His.

Romans 12:2 says…That ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Clearly God's perfect plan for my child is better than my plan. His will is good, acceptable—I can't even see past the next few hours regarding my will for my daughter! How can I possibly deny that His creation of Ella doesn't fit into his perfect plan for her? He made her with all the idiosyncrasies that we enjoy and the ones we'd like to toss out. I finally got it—she's who she is because God's doing something with her that requires this—He's got a perfect place for her and it requires that she go through certain fires to come out just right.

I'm feeling this new sense of peace. I feel okay that we have passed the time allotted for her to 'catch up' and that she's still fighting these battles. These battles were given to her by God, not inherited from an institution in Ukraine. I can't see the purpose in these battles, but years from now maybe we will get a glimpse at what God has accomplished through our trials. Maybe we will never see the fruit of these delays beyond the changes they cause in our own lives.

One night I came directly from showering to kiss Ella goodnight. After I kissed her, she said, "Nice hair mommy." Then laughed. I laughed too and we shared a moment. That was the first time that she verbally expressed a thought that wasn't related to her needs. She put three words together! It was astounding. It was also just last year. I'm becoming a better mother because of my little girl. She's teaching me to celebrate the accomplishments that would seem ordinary to another mom. Now I feel like I can embrace my kid with a different attitude—encouraging her to do the best she can, but accepting all of her just the way God made her.

NPR's adoption series

Seth works an hour away from our home and generally puts his time in the car to good use. He's dedicated himself to catching up on all the classics that he was supposed to read in high school, but sometimes he's had enough of Poe, Hemingway, and Steinbeck so he turns on the radio. On Monday he caught the beginning of this series on NPR. Initially I was excited, but it seems (to both of us) that they are doing the nasty media thing and putting a spin on adoption that may seem discouraging. They have a short clip about transracial adoption and some tips on raising kids from an adoptive mom.

Sly as a fox

Today I had a wonderful day! I've had a lot weighing on my mind and managed to forget nearly all of it for this day. It's a momentous day in our house because I finally reached the age that I'm no longer a princess on July 20, but a queen. I turned 30.

I suppose I should talk about the sobs I woke up with? The gray hairs I counted? My obvious laugh lines? I'll have none of it, because I have had a blast turning thirty. I can only hope that the rest of the decade is half as good! What made my day so delightful? Seth surprised me by taking the day off, bringing me coffee with a side of pancakes in bed, flowers, and a day of pampering (by my standards). The cutie cards the kids made me yesterday were great—I interrupted them while Ella was supposed to be the lookout and instead ended up screaming at me "Happy Birthday to you, Mommy!" Then she told me not to go into the dining room because they were making cards. Whoops.

We went to the park and I enjoyed a fantastic run, met Seth and the kids to go "hiking". Unfortunately, while I was running Eli discovered a yellow jacket nest and was stung three times before he got to Seth. The little trooper was determined to go hiking and on we went. On the way home, we stumbled upon a neighborhood garage sale and I acquired a double toaster (needed for a large family), a pizza stone (w/holder), and almost got a kitchenaid mixer (alas, the ole gal wouldn't budge on her price). I'll have to post about the kid's purchases later. We went to our favorite Mexican restaurant for lunch and were on our way to go canoeing when we pulled into a furniture boutique going out of business. I started talking to the woman who owns the place and she ended up loading my van with free furniture! Two loads of furniture! The second time we pulled back into our driveway all three kids screamed, "Why are we back at home again?!" As if they didn't notice that we had stuff shoved into every crevice. We did finally make it canoeing and had a blast. My partner was determined to help, but her paddling skills were found lacking. I'm ashamed to admit that we did a few unintended circles in the river.

Each time we do something special, I think about how it will be when we have two more children. Can we fit another in the canoe? Will it be years before we can go? I let myself revel in the thought of our children being with us next year on my birthday. I said a prayer for our kids separated from us on this special day, and tried to draw myself back to the little one working so hard to keep us moving.

I needed this day. I needed a break from exhausting myself. As sad as it is, I spend everyday with my family, but feel like my mind has been so far away (sometimes in Ethiopia, sometimes elsewhere). My day has ended with bliss: I've got three dreaming kids, a belly full of "happy birthday" donuts, and a beautiful evening yet to enjoy! Here's a picture of me with my donut (okay, this probably warrants explanation: Seth made a sticky note of things to do today. We completed all on his list, except the last item "kids make mom a cake". Since I'm always the cake baker, this was harder to do than he expected. He managed to keep the flowers, the gifts, the itinerary, and his day off all a secret. He didn't want to blow it with a cake, so he and Eli stopped at the store and bought doughnuts. Still scrumptious and the first time I've ever blown candles out on a donut!)

Are you from Ethiopia?

Strange things brew in the head of my youngest child, and too often we don't know what's brewing until he's got it on a low simmer. A few days ago this conversation transpired.

Eli: Daddy, did Rara and Popop (Seth's parents) go to Ethiopia?

Seth (smiling): No

Eli: But you are from Ethiopia.

Seth (laughing): No, I was adopted, but not from Ethiopia, I'm from Ohio.

Eli: Oh.

When I heard this it brought to my mind a similiar conversation that I had with Eli when we were on our way to eat Ethiopian food. He told me that Ella would like Ethiopian food since that is where she is from. I kindly reminded him that she was born in Ukraine, not Ethiopia. After hearing his conversation with Seth it dawned on me why he kept thinking that Ella was Ethiopian too. He thinks ALL adopted people are from Ethiopia! Even after clearing it up, I don't think he's convinced. His "oh" was still a little dazed, makes me wonder what else he's got going on in his head.

Sneak Peak

Our friends, the Waals, are coming home from Ethiopia today. I've previously posted their blogsite, but wanted to give it to you again, just in case. Tracy has done a wonderful job documenting their trip with photos and video clips. Go check them out and pray for them as they travel home (Rhonda is sick today).

My kids enjoyed seeing pictures of their friends in Ethiopia. They are very excited about meeting Neti and Meke, both girls are nearly the same ages as my three. Looking at the pictures made me think about how great it would be for OUR whole family to go over there. In a moment of weakness, I asked Everett if he'd like to go to Ethiopia. Whoops, that sounded to him like an invite, and he dare not do anything without Eli, which leaves Ella to stay alone at the grandparent's house? I quickly downplayed my mistake, but in bed that night Everett asked if he really could go with us. I wish he could--but I don't think the younger two would do well at home without him. There is no way that Seth and I would try to take all three kids with us. Unless one of the grandparents decides that they would enjoy a week in Africa during the midwestern winter acting as caregiver to three preschoolers. Any takers?

Bustin' Mutton

I've been missing for nearly two weeks! When the weather starts to warm up, I hit the highway and don't stop until September. This last trip was a doozey-12 hours south to Arkansas for a family reunion. The family is pretty big, so planning begins about a year in advance. About six months ago, my aunt sent me the schedule of events. The good natured person that I am, I felt like we should take part in everything that is going on...including the rodeo. Specifically an event in the rodeo titled "Mutton Bustin." If you happen to be my sister, or anyone else who doesn't know what a mutton is, the translation is "Sheep Riding." Though that doesn't sound nearly as fun, or as safe?

When the time came for me to buy tickets for various events, I signed my three kids up for "Mutton Bustin." We looked online at pictures from previous years, and I explained to my children that they would ride on a sheep. The poor city kids got excited at this thought--they probably haven't ever actually seen a real-life sheep. So, amidst visions of lazily riding Mary's little lamb, my children wholeheartedly agreed that they most definately wanted to bust mutton.

The night of the rodeo arrives, all three kids have been looking forward to it for weeks. They have donned jeans, cowboy shirts, hats, and boots. They are an exceptionally cute group of cowpokes. Unfortunately their cuteness is a dead give away to the fiesty sheep that these kids have no experience riding anything. Well, except bikes and sometimes scooters, both a far cry from wild farm beasts. The event begins and the 20-something kids strap on bike helmets (safety first here at the rodeo) and wait anxiously for their turn to ride the bucking sheep. When it's our turn Everett goes first, the announcer makes a big deal of the three kids coming all the way to Arkansas, the anticipation builds. Everett is put onto the sheep, grabs hold of the rope and the chute opens. Mere seconds later Everett's flying off the sheep, hanging his head and coming back towards me.

Eli sees the wild animal assigned to him being put in the chute and he is absolutely terrified. I kindly urge coerce him to climb on, because he will be so disappointed if he doesn't ride the sheep. He climbs aboard, still whimpering and his chute opens. He manages to stay on for a while, almost making it to the herd (is that a group of sheep? a mob? a pack? ack, I don't know!!) of sheep, while riding sideways. Then he faceplants. Literally.

Meanwhile, Ella beings to panic and she's wailing, no way she's getting on the sheep. I know this, I can't convince her (I know the boundaries of my sweet talking skills). But I think, maybe if she saw that Eli is okay and he had fun she'd agree. He returns and his first words to Ella are, "Don't do it!" He doesn't have to worry, because she won't. Surprisingly, in the end, she's convinced (by a nearby cowboy) and gets on the sheep. When the chute opens, she THROWS herself to the ground in an attempt to end the horror of mutton bustin'. So there you have it, the three city slickers gave it a good try, but didn't end up winning the six foot trophy from Tyson Chicken (incidentally a 4 year old named Lil' Bill wearing chaps and body armor holding onto the sheep with only one hand won first place).

After all of that, all three kids forget their terror and say they would like to come back next year to the rodeo and try again. I'll probably let them, as long as Children's Services doesn't shut down the Mutton Bustin' championship before then. What mother in her right mind signs a waiver allowing her children to "be strapped to farm animals and call it entertainment?"

Mama Bear Rantings

This summer is proving to be a busy one. Our church just had a Bible conference, meaning VBS for the kids and preaching for adults. We all really enjoyed it, my kids had a blast and I spent the week being chastened, edified, and taught. For an overall great week, I walked away Friday feeling a bit discouraged as a mom. I was involved in several conversations regarding Ella's hand, leg, and skin tone. These are church kids, mind you, kids who have sat next to my children for two years in Sunday school class, played with them in the church gym, and enjoyed meals together. So imagine my surprise when I heard Everett's friend introducing Ella to a visiting kid, "This is Ella, look at her arm and she only has three fingers…" It sounded as if he was auditioning for a carnival, "She even has a fake leg!" I half expected him to charge admission for this rare sight. Don't get me wrong, I understand that kids are curious, and I welcome their (appropriate) questions. This display embarrassed Ella and I felt horrid for her. Later, I admonished Everett for standing by while his friend made a spectacle of his sister.

At the end of the week an eight year old girl joined us for breakfast before VBS began. She was informed by a friend that we are adopting two children. The conversation went something like this…

Little Girl: "My mom said she would never adopt. Never."

Me: "Hmmm." Wondering what sort of conversation preceded her mother making that statement.

Five year old friend of Ella: "Ella was adopted from Ukraine."

Little Girl: "What? Ella was adopted?!" She nearly falls out realizing that she is eating breakfast with an "adopted" person. I suppose she didn't realize that adopted people don't bear some mark making them "look" adopted. Though I should appreciate the fact that she didn't notice that Ella obviously looks quite a bit different than the boys.

After a bit of staring at Ella she suddenly says, "What is wrong with her hand? She only has three fingers."

Me: This is my usual response for children, "God made Ella with a special hand. He has a very special plan for her life."

LG: Not pacified by this response, "Poor thing."

Me: Surprised, "Nothing poor about it, God made Ella the way she is on purpose, because he is going to do something important with her life and He wants her to have a different hand."

LG: "Well I am so glad that I don't have a hand like that."

Me: Thinking many rude things, wanting to make statements along the lines of—Well, I'm glad God didn't give Ella a face like yours…I keep quiet.

LG: Undeterred, "Her hand looks like a lobster claw. That is what another girl said, that it's a lobster claw."

Me: Completely flabbergasted that I am hearing this, "That is awfully rude and you shouldn't say that."

At that point I ended the conversation and turned to Ella, who had been busy with breakfast and fortunately missed most of what was being said. After talking to Ella, I was thankful that my five-year-old has the language skills of a child much younger. I was also thankful that I was there to take up for her. And I began wondering how many times something like this has happened when Ella was alone. She is quite unable to stand up for herself when it comes to verbalizing (she's more than capable to sock one of her brothers when she's been wronged). I once witnessed a classmate asking Ella about her prosthetic leg. She kept saying, "What is that?" Ella kept replying, "What? My sock, my shoe, my leg?" The little girl was not able to comprehend that "that" is Ella's leg and Ella did not care to explain that "that" is a prosthetic.

So what did I end up leaving the week with? Quite a few blessings, but a heavy heart aching for my daughter who has so many battles ahead of her. How can I prepare her for what she will face as she gets older? How far do I go when something happens? I'm struggling with this gray area called "grace". Two weeks ago, we had an unsettling incident (from a respected adult) he said some borderline nasty things about kids with differences bearing these burdens because of their parent's sin. You can't imagine how I felt after this! The message I've been giving to my children is that they were made with purpose, not as a consequence! The next day, Seth opened his Bible to do his daily reading and the passage that day was from John 9.

And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth. And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him. John 9:1-3

I thank God that He knows what we struggle with, even before we bring it to Him. I realize that the past few weeks are probably just preparing us for what is to come. I'm praying that we can gracefully handle the situations that will arise once we add two more children to our family. A family of seven attracts attention, a family comprised of three different races attracts more attention, throw in missing limb or two and we should expect some stares and jibes. How do I give my children confidence in how God made them? How do I teach self-assurance and contentedness? And how far do I take it when an innocent child or nosey adult takes the conversation too far? After a hard week, Everett's memory verse for Sunday school was (amazingly) Psalm 139:14.

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

Time away

My kids and I just spent a week at the resort my parents call home. It lacks manicured lawns and room service (though my sister got sick during the week and received crackers and ginger ale in her bedroom), but makes up for that in wide open space. The muddy pond welcomes toe wiggling, fishing, and rock throwing--all favorites of my kids. I feel like the main objective of our stay at my parent's is to make sure my kids spend most of their time running amuck outside. Happy (exhausted) children make for a happy mommy who indulges in a visit to the hot tub after the kids have passed out. This is my (very poor) excuse for not posting. Well, that and the fact that nothing is going on in our adoption world right now.

I feel like it has been ages since our dossier arrived in Ethiopia! I am so ecstatic that I decided to add that annoying ticker to the top of our blog. It's a wonderful reminder of how sloooooowly time is paaaaasssssssing. Maybe the ticker is wrong, and it's supposed to be three months, instead of three weeks. Ugh.

"The Wait" has begun

I should warn any of you waiting for adoption news that you may just want to tuck this blog address away for about 6 months then come back and check on us. As expected, I'm going a little stir crazy. My mother has passed along a genetic anomaly that requires the carrier to be active at all times. She plan activites during activities. This is an outrageous benefit for those times when...say...you are paperchasing for an adoption, homeschooling, and living life in general. Right now I feel like I can't sit still, due to the racing around I've done for the past few months. I'm whizzing through school with my kids--homeschool on uppers. We are covering centuries of history in a matter of minutes. Then we get to our stopping point for the day. I pace around the backyard watching my kids and feeling frustrated for my two kids half a world away. Right now I'm inept. I can't actively pursue them and it's making me crazy.

I know--I was ecstatic to be done with paperwork and be able to relax, but a few weeks has been enough to recover. My obsession with multi-tasking has pushed me into fundraising mode. Though I hate to call it that, I don't plan on doing any "fundraising" this go around. I'm researching adoption grants, planning a garage sale, and trying to spend less. That should keep my idle fingers busy for a little while.

I'm also living vicariously through the families who are ahead of us right now. This family is in Ethiopia right now. And our friends just had court yesterday (Congratulations guys!) go and check out their gorgeous little girls.

It has arrived!

I'm goofball, but I called FedEx last night because I was getting worried (Seth was too, I'm not the only paranoid one around here). Our dossier hadn't moved since Friday and I was afraid that it was lost. So I called and found out that FedEx doesn't fly directly into Ethiopia, so they put our paperwork on a commercial flight, which doesn't have tracking. They told me it should be there today, and it is! I don't really know what happens now--translation then submitting it. I don't know how long translation should take, but I'm not going to "officially" start counting the days to referral until it's translated and in the right hands. The next thing that should happen is getting the referral (expecting months and months for this though).

Passing the time

Most of you probably remember the ads during the 80s of the egg being fried in a pan warning that "This is your brain on drugs." Several times I've done something and thought, "This is my family on an adoption budget." Last week my kids and I took part in several silly activities. As I took a picture of one such event these words went through my mind. What would incite such a thing? An afternoon free, a hole in the pool, and three very hot kids.

So.... Here are my children (with my mom last year).

And here are my children on a budget.

The story behind these photos goes like this...

It was Ella's last day of school and it was HOT. Hot is highly unusual here lately and I'm saddened by this, nonetheless, this was a day of joyful high temps. On the way home from picking Ella up, Everett mentioned playing in our pool. I warned him that it may not be in swimmable condition, but that I'd check into it. All the while I was hoping I could round up a sprinkler if the pool was out of commission. Upon pulling the pool out of the recesses of the shed (never a good place for anything to be), Everett and I examined it and found a few tears in the cheapo plastic sides. Sooo, I started looking for a sprinker. The shed houses animals who have wandered in to die and garden tools--I try only to reach my arm in to grab a trowel and never actually GO inside. Motherly love kicked in and I crept back into the shed to find TWO sprinklers. Neither of those would attach to the hose. Fearing defeat, I thought I'd just spray the kids with the hose. Then thought we could run out and buy a new pool or sprinklers. Saving money crept back into my mind and so did a glorious idea. Presto-our own home waterpark, at a 100% lower price. I put the hose on a slow drip, and the kids had a blast.

I'm glad I don't travel by FedEx

Our paperwork has been sitting in Delaware since Friday. It's taken an interesting route this far-Virginia to Memphis to Delaware. Perhaps tomorrow it will leave Delaware and travel to Ethiopia via...Chile? Trying to be positive--I'm happy that I know where my dossier is right now. I'm frustrated with how long this is taking, but I'm not freaking out. Me freaking out is not good; me frustrated is managable.

Build-A-Bear

My first experience with Build-A-Bear was this year. I've heard about it for years, but fear kept me away! All I could see were big price tags for stuffed animals that would gather dust. My mom gave my kids giftcards for Christmas this year. In an attempt to curb the costs, we set up some limits before we got to the store. It turned out to be a fun afternoon with the family, all the cousins saved their giftcards and we built bears together. I think the best part was building the animals--so we are going to be making a visit to the mall tomorrow to build bears for waiting kids. We get to build a bear and they will be donated to children waiting for their forever family. Check out the Build-A-Bear site for details.

Drumroll please...

Our dossier has left DC! It's currently in the care of FedEx in Memphis (now the second time it's been visiting Memphis since last week).

Wednesday FedEx redeemed itself (sort of). The FedEx truck pulled up to my house and delivered a document from Virginia. I was pretty confused (seems to be a theme recently) and opened it to find the missing agency recommendation and the authentication from the Secretary of State. So the once lost document has been found, then shipped, then my check cashed, and the pre-paid airbill used. Ick, this visit from FedEx just cost me $30-40 (the vote is still out on that one).

And I didn't even need this anymore--see my previous posting on the "day of chaos" to understand. So I've called FedEx and asked to be reimbursed for the costs of shipping this "lost" package. While I had them on the phone I asked to be reimbursed for the cost of overnighting the replacement documents last week (since I really shouldn't have had to do that), and while I was at it, I wanted them to reimburse my check to the Secretary of State too! Hey, worth a try! Overall, in order to get that document to DC on time I think I spent $70. Ouch--for one piece of paper!

Meanwhile, our months of hard work are carefully packaged up and hopefully flying over the Atlantic Ocean on their way to Addis Ababa.

Haaaappy Mother's Day!

This is what I was greeted with on Mother's Day.




Seth ordered this coffee for me after I had seen Black Gold, the documentary on Ethiopian fair trade coffee. When he has the time, he is so thoughtful! The company he ordered it from had to special order it from another company. The coffee took so long to arrive (weeks and weeks) that he decided to give it to me for mother's day (somehow this doesn't seem fair). After all his excitement and hard work finding this online, we found out last night that we can buy it locally at a coffee shop.

As clear as mud

I think lately I have been a little...distracted? I've updated this blog amidst chaos and it has been evident in my postings. So I'm hoping to clear some things up today!

Our dossier is currently in DC waiting to visit the embassy, afterwards it will board a plane for Ethiopia. Once there, it will be translated then submitted to the governing body and we will wait. We will possibly wait until winter, or maybe until the end of the summer, we don't know (see this post for more on timelines). One day the agency will call us and tell us they have found children for us, then we will wait a while longer and then go and get our children. We have no idea on the timing for this, but I do know that it's going to be a while before we go anywhere and I will hopefully post with clarity from now until then!

I'm hoping to hear news that our dossier is on its way to Ethiopia in the next week. For now I'm going to rest in the knowledge that it's all out of my control now and enjoy the last few weeks of school with my kids. Yes, we have WEEKS left so if you have any interaction with my children--mums the word on school break starting at the end of May.

Our dossier made it!

I breathed a sigh of relief this afternoon. Our agency emailed and let us know that the recommendation (of former glory) from the VA sec of state arrived safely yesterday. Shortly after getting that great news, our big dossier package arrived at the agency. Phew, I was pretty nervous. I am not sure how long it will be before our dossier is sent on to Ethiopia, I'll be a bundle of nerves then. It doesn't seem like we could pssibly be done with paperwork already! Not to say that it didn't seem like we worked on it forever, but gee, what will I do now?

Tracking my dossier

I mailed our dossier on Tuesday to our agency in Virginia. I've been tracking it for three days and it's only made it to Memphis. I think that since I paid for three day service they are going to make it take three days. I did have to have a long conversation with the guy at the office about insurance, and what happens if they lose my dossier. I made a few threatening remarks (I hadn't fully recovered from spending Monday in the car) and several dramatic statements. Which was all lost on him since he won't be dealing with my package once it leaves his office.

My agency sent a new recommendation and it should have arrived at the Secretary of Commonwealth yesterday. I hope that it gets there, gets done, and gets mailed this week, but that may be wishful thinking.

Success

Eleven hours after pulling out of the driveway, my children and I returned home. Tucked safely into my "adoption" file was our *nearly* completed dossier! We are still going to have to wait on the document from Virginia, but I will have that sent directly to the agency to avoid extra delays. Tomorrow the entire thing goes off to DC, and after FedEx's recent *incident*, I'm a little nervous!

Our day was frantic, this morning we visited a friend who lives just across the county line. She's a notary, she notarized several documents, then we realized she lives JUST ACROSS THE COUNTY LINE. After our visit with her, we drove to the county seat, in her county-about 45 minutes from our county seat. And though it's in the middle of nowhere-there was a taco bell in the town so we were well fueled for the afternoon. By the time we made it to our local courthouse it was 1, and after taking an impromtu and ill-timed tour of the county courthouse we left with certified documents in hand. I realized then that the capital was 2.5 hours away, and it was nearing 2 o'clock. Throwing caution to the wind I gunned the minivan down the highway hoping to make it to the Secretary of State's office by 4:30.

By then I was running only on Mountain Dew, wondering how much of the kid's brains are being fried by watching perhaps three four FIVE movies in a row. I realized that Eli was beyond repair when he started playing "Superman vs. Invisible Guy" with his fists. The clock was ticking though, so I pressed on and determined to worry about the children later. We arrived downtown at 4:10, but spent ten minutes trying to find a parking space. I parked illegally (sort of) and we raced inside. Amidst whining from all: Everett has never had to pee so bad in his life, Ella is tired of walking (after sitting for 8 hours, then walking half a block), and Eli put his recently hand-me-down cowboy boot on with a sock wadded into the toe of it. I pulled off the cowboy boot in the elevator and put on his sock then jammed his foot back into the boot. Then told Ella that she'd be taking a nap for the ride home if she didn't toughen up. I repeated this to Everett and told him we could go to the restroom AFTER we dropped off our papers. At 4:25 we arrived at the window. Just 30 minutes later we were back on the road with our beautiful gold seals. And this, hopefully, will be the last "exciting" post that I make until I'm telling the story of our referrals!

For all of you who are wondering about my parental skills after reading this post...Here's a photo of the kids and I on a better day in Chicago last week.

ARGH!

I'm having very angry feelings towards FedEx right now. I'm getting geared up for a big day racing around certifying and authenticating documents (probably totalling 7 hours in the car with the kids). As a precaution to decide whether I really SHOULD drive 2.5 hours to the capital, I checked the status of the authentication in Virginia. Our document never got to the Secretary of the Commonwealth. I called FedEx, hoping that I misunderstood what I saw on the tracking page, but nope, never got there. And they aren't going to try and find it. I get to file a claim. I'm a little irritated, but trying to trust that God's going to work it all out. Won't this make a great story to tell our kids later on, "We sent this paper THREE times to Virginia before it finally got done."

Off to try a third time to get this done, then proceed with the scheduled activities for the day. And yeah, I'm making the drive to the capital because I no longer trust FedEx to actually DELIVER my paperwork.

A watched pot never boils

We've been in Chicago for 3 days and arrived home tonight to a surprise. Our 171h (aka important paper from USCIS) was waiting in our mailbox. I guess things change in three years, but I was looking for this greenish, important looking paper. This was a low key, white paper with the statement: "...application has been forwarded to the American consulate at Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and email sent 5/3/07, approved for two children"

I read that, then re-read. Then felt like an idiot because I didn't know what I was looking at, and only expected one document from USCIS, and this couldn't be it since it was NOT green nor fancy. Then at the lower left corner it said, "Form I-171H". I think I squealed, but then I realized that I don't have everything ready! ACK! Double ack! This realization was followed by Seth's constant pestering of me, "What is it? Is that IT? Do you (italics added for emphasis) have everything else ready? Where are we in this thing? What is that?" I have a hard time thinking while he's acting like a child. My mind already wasn't functioning at a high level. After 5 hours in the car with the kids and..ahem...Seth. Ella singing solos for the last hour--only song she knows goes like this: "I love Jesus! I love Jesus!" repeat that in a high pitched wail and you are singing an Ella original. Beauteous for the first verse or so, but honestly... So I was having a hard time processing, then my mind tripped to the fact that I don't have everything else ready.

We are leaving town again on Tuesday, so I'm going to race around Monday getting certifications and seals. One problem though, the previously mentioned document that went to Virginia is not back yet. So I'll race around Monday then probably wait around for another week...or more. Hurry up and wait-that is the name of the game.

I'm still pumped about getting this, even if I have to wait a while for the document from VA. We waited for about 3 or 4 MONTHS to get this when we were paperchasing for Ella. I was hoping for 3 weeks (since I've heard it's faster up here), but never dreamed we would get it in a week. Wowie, wow, wow!

Good food, good fellowship

Last night we had an wonderful evening! We trekked about an hour away to an Ethiopian restaurant. The food was great but the company was even better. We were excited to talk to our friends about their recent referral of two girls, discussing what their lives are like now and what their plans are for the next few weeks. They, in turn, were excited to talk to us about living out our faith and challenged us to "put our money where our mouth is." This is something that Seth and I have struggled with for years. We are both fed up with what Christianity has become in our nation. I can't begin to comprehend what others around the world endure for their faith, or the struggles that most of the world has to endure because of poverty, hopelessness, disease... BUT I know that I have hope based on God's Word. How do I live this out in my day to day life? Some people would say, "Look at the great thing your family is doing! You are giving a home to two children who would languish away in an orphanage in one of the most poverty sticken counties in the world."

We aren't great people, we aren't doing a great thing, we are doing what God has called us to do. Beyond that, what are we doing with our lives and the blessings (ie. children) that God has given us? I'm confronted by this a lot lately, and try to supress it because I feel like a downpour on the parade of middle class life. I bite my tongue when these feelings begin to bubble up. I told Seth last night, "We can't adopt the world, and we can't make adoption our ministy. What are we going to do with our lives?"

What are you going to do with your life? God has a plan for each one of us, His greatest hope is to welcome you into eternity--do you have the hope of eternal life spent in heaven with Him? If so, are you doing what He has called his church to do? He has called us to tell others about Him and to live our lives in a manner that those around us could only see Him in us. I can't honestly say that I lead a life "worthy of this calling" (2 Thes 1:11). Are you living a life that glorifies Jesus Christ (2 Thes 1:12)?

Go visit this family and see what they are doing to further God's kingdom.

Plugging away

Our homestudy arrived at USCIS yesterday! So the ticker has started counting down-hoping for mid-May. I feel like the loose ends are coming together and we will have everything ready to go when we get the i-171h.

Seth and I are so excited for our friends, the Waals, who are adopting though our agency. They got a referral yesterday of two girls. Their wait time was a record breaking 5 weeks! I think my jaw actually dropped when I read their news. This is so exciting to see, and incredibly unexpected. Even more surprising because they are adopting two girls, they had expected boys--now they are a family with four daughters. Tracy may have to add a few more bathrooms to the house! I'm sure they are running around in a frenzy today.

Watching the adoptions of our friends makes our adoption more of a reality. We are at a place now where I feel like we are caught in a wave and being swept along. Yesterday our social worker called and had some questions before she finalized our adoption approval. We had mentioned adopting special needs, but had not gone into detail so she wrote our homestudy for two "healthy" children. Neither Seth nor I know what to do, we are adopting two kids, and that may be enough to keep us on our toes. I hate to make this decision flippantly and then wonder... As it is, I'm praying for two special kids in Ethiopia constantly throughout the day. I'm wondering if they are still with their family, if they are being cared for by loving people, if they have enough food to eat. I pray that we get there quickly to bring them home.

Movin' right along

We just got an email and our homestudy is DONE and on its way to USCIS. Hopefully we will get our 171 (approval for adopting internationally from US government) in three weeks. I'm guessing on this, time estimates are so fun irritating. Paperwork is slowly trickling in from various places around the country. We recently had a strange experience with the USPS. We have a document from our agency that has to be certified in Virginia. I mailed it to the Secretary of the Commonwealth over a month ago. Last week I received a letter from them, with all of my documents enclosed. I had inadvertently forgotten to enclose the payment! I honestly don't know how I manage! I recall putting the check in there..I think. In addition, the envelope had been burned on its way to VA. Not completely burned UP, but burned enough that we would need a new document from our agency. So weird, but stranger things have happened. Today I fed-exed the new documents, with a check to VA. I think their turn around is about 3 weeks also. Everything seems to be going smoothly, then these little hang ups come along.

I know that God is in the hang-ups too though. He can see the whole picture and knows when we NEED to arrive in Ethiopia, so I'm trying to just trust that He will take care of paperwork. Whether He's expediting it or burning it! Trusting Him to do things perfectly and to control the adoption from beginning to finish is much easier.

I got shots today for yellow fever and typhoid. I'm not up to a barrage of emails about immunizations (you know who you are). It's done, I'm innoculated against these critters and I'm still alive and functioning. Though my checkbook is short $150, thankfully Seth found out that he can get these vaccines though work for free. Unfortunately, he didn't decide to check into this until 7:30am today (we have had these appointments for 6 weeks). The gal at the health department was not pleased with his lackadaisical attitude about keeping his appointment. I told her to let me have it and I'd happily pass it along to my procrastinating spouse. At that point I thought I was getting a vaccine in my tush, and was very displeased that I didn't have him there for moral support. Alas, my sources are outdated and I didn't have to pull down my britches, just lift up my sleeves (sighs of relief).

Just another day

Last night we got our rough draft of the homestudy! So I'm feeling good about progress. There were only a few teeny, tiny things that needed clarification. I think we should get the final copy anytime now, but I'm waiting on the social worker to give me a call. Meanwhile....

Today I hosted about 10 ladies for lunch at my house. It's through a Bible study that I attend, very low stress lunch-everyone brings their own lunches and we eat and talk about what is going on in our lives. Kids aren't invited, since we wouldn't be eating or talking if they were around. We would be chasing and rebuking. And lunch would go from one hour to three or four (I have personally experienced this). So I dropped my kids off at a friend's house and raced back home to ice the cake I made for dessert.

Sidebar--I've never made a from-scratch cake in my life. I attempted this last night when I remembered the lunch date. I casually glanced into my pantry and I didn't have a single dessert mix in the house (usually I have a few brownie boxes for these sort of times). I did what comes naturally-called my mom. She started throwing ideas out of things to make, but I didn't have any cocoa-for some reason an ingredient in every dessert she recommended. She screams, "How do you NOT have cocoa? I think I've had the same tin of cocoa for years! You never run OUT of cocoa!"

I realized that I could make a carrot cake and still make dinner in enough time to make it for church. I'd just zip into the corner grocery store on the way home and get a tub of icing. No biggie to ice the cake the next morning. Unfortunately, the store closed three minutes before we got there.

So this morning, I went to the store on the way to Bible study, got my tub of icing, went to Bible study, THEN I dropped off my kids with my friend. As I'm icing the cake, the phone rings. It's my friend, the school just called and they needed her to bring a change of clothes because her son had spilled red applesauce all over his pants. She couldn't fit all the kids in the car, she needed me to come and get mine. When I got back to the house I shooed my kids into the yard, told them sternly not to come inside and gave them some lunch. Everyone is having a grand time. The kids are out on the deck snacking and the ladies and I are right inside the glass doors talking and eating. All is well, sort of, my cake is halfway iced and my kids keep peering into the glass doors, but I feel okay about how things are going. THEN one of my friends says, "Did your daughter pull her pants off?" I look outside and Ella is sitting on the deck facing us with Eli standing next to her. She looks clothed to me, but its hard to tell. As I'm standing up to further investigate she stands up too (probably realizing that she has drawn attention to herself). She's got her skirt around her ankles, and in an attempt to be modest she turns her back to all of us and bends over to pull up her skirt. Revealing her 'whatnots' to all of us eating inside.

The first thing that Eli says when I got out there, "I told Ella she could pee outside, but I asked if she peed out of her bottom. So I told her to sit on the deck and hang her bottom off to pee. She might get a splinter on her bottom though."

I shrill," Gracious! I'm not worried about splinters! Go inside and use the bathroom!" Many things are zippng through my mind, one of them being how to explain to my four year old that girls don't pee out of their 'bottoms'. Not an appropriate time for that discussion though. Also make note to mention to the kids that though boys can easily pee outside it is not okay to do that while a bathroom is easily accessible.

Thankfully everyone got a good laugh out of it, and my kids showed me that they really will go to great lengths to obey me. I guess I should be more specific next time.

By the way, that cake was absolutely, positively worth all the trouble!

Watching the clock

One of the things I find myself doing right now is timeline guessing. I have various scenarios going through my mind for referral dates and travel dates. I just got news from our social worker that she hopes to have the rough draft of our homestudy done this evening. That set off a series of "What ifs.." IF we get our rough draft tonight, then our final done by the end of the week, we could have it in the mail to INS next week. If they take three weeks to process, then that means our dossier will be done mid-May. Give it a week or so in DC, then off to Ethiopia. We just got an update from our family coordinator (aka agency helper) stating that the past two referrals have been very fast (last one was 9 weeks), but the agency expects that most of us will still wait 3-7 months for a referral. Soooo, that means we would be waiting for a referral until August or (latest) December. After the referral we have to wait for a court date--hopefully a few weeks later but it could be 6 weeks, could be much more. Then we would travel. So, best case we travel in the fall to bring home the kids, worst case we travel in the spring.

This latest hobby is an obvious waste of time. Without even putting any thought into it anyone could say, "Well, I'd imagine you would travel anywhere from fall to spring." I'd give that person a look, shake my head and walk away thinking, "What do you know?"

I'm not planning on waiting until spring to bring those kids home. I'm planning on having five kids screaming down my stairs on Christmas morning, so I better bring two home before then! Which means that my social worker needs to get the homestudy done and INS has to process quickly, nothing slips through cracks and all arrives safely in Ethiopia. I feel my mind getting cranked up and whirring at the endless possibilities. I'm also completely disregarding God's plan. He could be planning for us to go very quickly or wait until next spring. After all the mind whirring, I have come full circle. I know what I need to do and can focus on that. I pray about the timing of this adoption, knowing all too well that God has these children already chosen for our family. I'm praying that they are still with family, they are well cared for and being loved. I'm trying awfully hard to trust God with the timing, but I still find myself asking for this to go quickly. I'm terribly impatient when it comes to paperwork, agencies, and the government.

A friend of mine once told me that she doesn't ever ask God for patience, since she's afraid of what it may take for her to learn the lesson. She asks God, instead, to let her learn patience from watching the trials of others. We laughed at the time, but it seems to have a little truth to it. I'm praying that I don't need a lesson in patience right now.

Ethiopian Children Finally Home

If you have 5 minutes, you may want to watch this moving video and the post that precedes it. This family has had a horrible experience with their agency, and it has taken them nearly two years to bring home their children from Ethiopia. Be careful though, it made me well up with tears, so grab some tissues! Heather does an amazing job of explaining the true meaning of Easter, and her video shows how God worked in their lives through this adoption.

Late Night PBS

I decided to stay up late (late for me isn't late for you, so hold the scoffing) on Tuesday night and watch PBS. I wake up at 5 am to catch a glimpse of Seth before he heads to work, then I get a few hours alone before the troops join me for breakfast. When Seth pattered to bed and I followed him, I yearned for sleep, and had that feeling behind my eyes knowing if I dared to even sit on the bed I'd probably fall asleep. I also had a sixth sense that if I stayed up I'd probably hear cries in the night from any or all of my kids. They seem to have a sixth sense also and only wake me up when I really need to sleep. I pushed this out of my mind, bade Seth sweet dreams and went downstairs. Why would I choose to forgo an hour and a half of sweet sleep, to watch PBS? I had read (here) about a documentary called Black Gold that aired Tuesday night. The documentary explains the unfair trade practices in regards to Ethiopian coffee. Coffee and Ethiopia are two important things in my life right now. How could I not stay up and watch?

So far I've read a bit about the difficulty that Ethiopian coffee farmers are having with Starbucks. I am not well informed to say the least. I'm up to my armpits in homeschooling, house projects, sick kids, adoption paperwork, new prosthetic leg acquisition, and life in general. This leaves enough time for me to grab a few minutes in the morning to update this blog occasionally, email a few friends and then get down to business with the previously mentioned matters. When I was presented with the option of watching a film dedicated to this issue, I figured that I better take advantage.

I was thrilled with the information and sickened by the contrasts that they presented. These farmers are struggling to feed their families and then they show a blurb showing the excesses of the developed nations that are buying the coffee. Several times through the show I was moved to tears. It seems so hopeless, for these farmers to try and take on Starbucks, Nestle, Kraft… but in all honestly, it's a matter of life and death for them. I can't express how strongly I felt about some of the sentiments in the film. The effects of greedy businesses are far reaching. I sat and thought about the children who are in an orphanage now due to poverty. If the Ethiopian farmers were paid a fair wage for their work, would some of those kids still be at home? I haven't paid much attention to who I bought coffee from. Now my eyes are open to what struggles exist for me to enjoy my cup o' joe every morning. I will support companies that buy fair trade coffee and encourage you to reach into your deep pockets and do it too!

Incidentally, all three of my kids woke up that night. Seth and I decided that it was possibly a night for records as each child woke us up a few times. Neither of us could remember a time that has ever happened. Morning came early, and the coffee mug was there to greet me, but my coffee didn’t taste quite as good as it used to.

Gotta love that mail guy

I just got mail! It's my certified birth certificate. I was a little worried, since I had to order it out of state. It is the first piece of paper that is completely done, RFD (ready for dossier). Things are coming together though! We have our last meeting with our social worker tonight, within the week our homestudy is going to be done! Could we possibly hope to have our paperwork done before May? Not a record setting pace, but I'd settle for that.

I'm dreaming of a white Easter

This has to be the most bizarre weather, according to my six year old. He told me last week that snow in April is the most crazy thing that has ever happened in the world. His experience with April is quite limited, considering the first 5 years of his life were in Southern Alabama.

So, it was not surprising after a week of flurries to wake up Sunday to snow. No riverside sunrise service for us, but I did remember to get a family photo. This gem will complete the photo pages for our dossier. And I won't tell you how many shots it took to get this, but most were *off* because Everett decided "Hot Dog" would be more appropriate than "cheese". The five pictures that were taken after his grand epiphany show three kids with theirs mouths in big "O" shapes. Funny, but (as Eli would say) "definitely not appropriate."

I hope that you all had a blessed Resurrection Day! Mark 16:6-8